Monday, 29 November 2021

Leave my Hair Alone


Mum's tried combing and brushing and 
cutting my hair to get out the knots,
but I keep running away.

Can I tell you a secret?

I have knots in my hair.

Mum keeps trying to get rid of them, but I don't like my hair being fussed with and I wriggle and run away.

Mum's got sneaky.  When I jump up on her lap for a cuddle, I find out she's hiding my comb, and she tries to use my cuddle time for grooming! What a betrayal!

She tries to comb me, but I wiggle and get away again.  Sometimes Ms L tries to hold me so Mum can brush or comb or cut my knots.  Still I get away.

Sometimes Mum tries to rub coat conditioner into my hair. She says it will help get the knots out and make my hair soft and shiny.  I say I don't want it.

Mum keeps telling me if my knots keep getting bigger they will be uncomfortable, and getting rid of them will be even worse.

I don't care.  I keep running away.  Leave my hair alone.

I have tried to show Mum I can groom myself.  I licked at one of the knots and got it out.  But then I had this hair knot in my mouth and it was stuck to my tongue and I kept trying to spit it out and it wouldn't go, until Mum came and took it out of my mouth.  

So you see, I can get the knots out of my hair for myself if I really want to.  I just don't want to.

Mum just wants to be mean and ruin my beautiful hair.

But it's all right, I won't let her. I'm going to run away and hide.

Princess Purrs

Friday, 26 November 2021

Caring for Crocodile

 Hello everybody,

I love my toys very very much.

I love my Bear.

And I love my Elephant, and I loved my Piggy (who is sadly no longer with us) and all of my toys.

But my absolute favourite toy is my crocodile!

This is actually about version ten or twenty of Crocodile.  When one wears out, I need a new one.  I am very glad  my humans understand this need.

I look after my Crocodile very well.

We do everything together.

I share my food with her. (Mum lost the photo! Why did Mum lose the photo? I was doing something cute, it should have a photo.)

I even tuck her into bed. (Well it may be Princess' bed, but Princess wasn't using it.)

The only thing I forget to do for her is bring her back inside after I've taken her out to play!

(I wonder if that's why I go through so many of them.)

Licks and tail wags

Miss Fantasia Dog
(Call me Fanta)

Tuesday, 12 October 2021

The Midnight Visitor

 Fanta's Story

Hello Everyone,

Something happened the other night.  It was a long time after bed time, but still a long time until breakfast.  I heard a croak, and knew a frog had got into the art room. (It's happened before.)

I woke up Mum.  She said, "Just leave it. Hopefully it will go out the same way it got in."  Mum always wants to sleep that whole time between bed time and breakfast.  I think it's very unrealistic of her.

A minute later we both heard the other croaking sound. You know the one, a very unhappy frog.  I insisted Mum had to get up and deal with it.

We went to the art room and Princess was chasing the frog.  Mum couldn't catch Princess, so she ended up yelling for Ms L, who came down from upstairs to help in the frog rescue.

Ms L caught Princess and handed her to Mum, while Mum gave Ms L a broom to shoosh the frog out with. While Princess wiggled and complained, suddenly the frog jumped out of nowhere, leaped higher than the humans' shoulders, making both humans squeal, and then disappeared.

Mum shut Princess in the bedroom, while Ms L looked for the frog but couldn't find it.  I had to find it for her, but then Ms L said I was in the way, and Mum called me to help her block the hallway so the frog wouldn't go that way.

Ms L used the broom to gently encourage the frog to move and try to direct it.  At first the frog really did want to go down the hallway, but once Ms L got it turned so it could see out the back door, it understood and went out in two huge jumps.

A bit later I begged to go out.  Actually I told Mum I needed a wee.  But actually I went out to make sure the frog was OK.  I stayed with it for a while.

Licks and tail wags

Miss Fantasia Dog (call me Fanta).

Princess' Story

I made a new friend!

My new friend is very little and very jumpy.  We had a great chasing game, but then Fanta and the human put me in the bedroom and made my friend go away.

We weren't being naughty, I promise.  We were just playing.

I do hope my friend comes to visit again soon.

Princess Purrs.

The Frog's Story

It was the most terrifying experience of my life!

I was trapped in a horrible dungeon. I don't even know how I got in there.  There were monsters: big hairy monsters, and gigantic less hairy monsters. The noises they made were horrible.  I was sure they all wanted to eat me.

When I finally saw some outside, I leapt like I'd never leapt before!

I barely escaped with my life!  Then when I thought I was free one of the monsters came outside and stuck it's giant nose against me and then just watched me for a while.

Wednesday, 7 July 2021

Beary Nice New Friend

 Hello Everybody!

If you read my post yesterday, you would know that I was very upset with Mum because she threw out what was left of my Piggy.

Today, Mum went out, when she came back she had bad news.  The pet shop did not have any more piggies.  I was sad.

Then she said, she got me a bear instead.

This is Bear.

Bear squeaks just like Piggy did. And she's soft and furry.

Mum said don't pull him apart too quickly.  Funny Mum.

Anyway, I've forgiven Mum, and I'm happy again.

Licks and tail wags

Miss Fantasia Dog

(Call me Fanta)

Tuesday, 6 July 2021

But That's Mine!

 Hello Everybody,

I know lots of readers think Mum is nice to us and looks after us, and is generally a "good human".  I thought that too.  

Do you know what? It was a lie! Mum is a mean, terrible, not-good human!

Here's the proof.

Do you see this picture?

You see all the fluff and stuff Mum's been putting in this rubbish bag?  This stuff?  This fluff and fabric and stuff?

This is my stuff! This is my snuggly piggy toy! 

Mum put it all in the rubbish bag and took it out to the big bin!

I said, "Wait, Mum, you obviously don't know what that is!  That's my very special piggy! You can't throw it out! Please Mum; don't throw it out!"

Even Princess said, "Mum, you can't throw Fanta's toy out!"

Do you know what Mum said? She said, "It's too broken to fix. It's all over the floor. I will have to get you a new piggy."

Then she threw the bag out in the big bin.

And do you know what else?  That was hours ago, and she hasn't got me a new piggy yet.  She's a big fat meanie, piggy-stealing liar.  And I thought she loved me!

I'm going to go away and be sad with just my crocodile, my elephant, and my eleventy-billion other toys. 

Sorry, no licks and tail wags today,
I'm just too sad.

Miss Fantasia Dog.
(Call me Fanta.  

Tuesday, 15 December 2020

It's Curtains!

Mr Bumpy's Jurassic Ancestor.
(Or possibly just Mr B behind a curtain.)

We've had some really hot days already this summer. 

Our poor air conditioner was really having trouble keeping us cool.

Mum and Mr D put a curtain in the hallway, to keep the cool air in one part of the house so we had somewhere to be cool.

The curtain was too long, and Mum put the end up with safety pins. She said that would save us from standing on the curtain and pulling it down before she had time to sew it up properly.

I investigated of course,  but I got my head stuck where the curtain was folded up! I tried to get out and couldn't.

Eventually, Mr D heard me crying and rescued me.

When we told Mum about it, Mum said, "This is one of the reasons you are not allowed outside."

I wonder if that means outside is full of curtains for my head to get stuck in?

(Oh, I had my head stuck in a grocery bag today.  I was investigating the smells to see what Mum and Mr D bought. Mum said it was lucky we got groceries in paper bags.)

Then the other day, Mr D showed us a photo of a terrifying creature that was in the upstairs flat.

Mum said it might have been Mr Bumpy's Jurassic ancestor.  It looked so scary, even more scary that Bumpy himself. (And Bumpy always attacks me and tries to rip my throat out.  Luckily I have lots of fluff, and all he ever gets is a mouthful of fluff and a stern talking-to from Mum.)

I don't want Mr D to ever ever let that scary thing come downstairs where Fanta and I live.

 All in all, I think curtains are a very bad thing.  They trap unsuspecting cats, and they hide scary monsters. 

If you have curtains, be very careful around them. They are dangerous.

Princess Purrs

Sunday, 6 December 2020

It's All Fun and Games

I gently take the little cat toys off
the big cat toy.  - Princess
 Oh Christmas tree

Oh Christmas tree

Your ornaments are history

They're red when I gently make them fall

They're red when I roll them down the hall

Oh Christmas tree

Oh Christmas tree

Your ornaments are history.

Hello Everyone!

It's that time of year. The Christmas tree is back.

Last year I was just a baby and didn't really understand what it was.

This year I'm a big cat and I know.  It's a giant cat toy, that holds lots of little cat toys.  (Oh wait, is that what I thought it was last year? I was a very smart baby wasn't I?)

The idea of this game is to gently take the little toys off the big toy.  (If you knock the big toy over, you've done it wrong.) Then you can play with the little toy as long as you like.  When you forget where you left the little toy, it's time to go and get another one.

Isn't that a great game?  It's not my favourite game, though.

Would you like to know about my favourite game?

My favourite game is to go to a human and start crying as if something is very, very wrong. 

The human will say, "Princess, what's the matter?"

And I will insist they follow me. I lead them to the bathroom and flop over on the bathmat. (It's a thick, soft, bathmat and very nice to flop on.)

Then the human will say, "Oh, did the poor little kitty fall over? Whatever shall we do?"

That's when I roll over on my back and put my paws as far out as possible to show off my fluffy little tummy.

The human will say, "Would a tummy tickle help the poor, little, fallen-over kitty?"

Then, and this is the best bit, then the human will give me tummy tickles!

I'm quite sure that is the best game in the whole entire world, and I've taught both my humans how to play it.

Well, I'm off to play now.

Princess Purrs.