Tuesday, 12 June 2018

Princess Poopypants

image: sleeping seal-point ragdoll kitten.
"Mum's been mean to me." - Princess.
Hello

Can I tell you something? Mum's been mean to me!

Yes, really she has.

She's called me a mean name.  She called me Princess Poopypants.

While she called me that, she was using water and a cloth to wash my back end.  I was all wet and she called me names!

And do you know what?  She's done it lots and lots of times.  Well, at least three times.

That's really mean isn't it?  And Mum's not usually mean.  But when she does that, she is. Calling bad names is mean.

I'm going to have a nap under the cat tower, where Mum can't fit.  I don't want to be with someone who's mean.

Princess Purrs



Hey you - yes you.  The one who's been reading about the kid moaning...
Wanna buy a Supreme Feline Overlord some treats? (Just for me, the others are too fat already.)
You can give me a dollar or two here: paypal.me/IrisCarden
Or you can commit to giving me a dollar or two every month here: https://www.patreon.com/IrisCarden
Your gift would help pay for the blog's domain name and boring stuff like that, but could also get me some of my favourite treats.
Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Monday, 11 June 2018

A Very Good Dog

Fanta and Princess together.
"I'm a very patient big sister." - Fanta
Hello Everyone,

Do you know what Mum said to me the other day?

She told me I was a very very good dog and she was very proud of me.

Do you know what she was so proud of?  My being such a good big sister to Princess.

She said I was very patient with Princess, and how I reacted when Princess was naughty to me.  For example, when Princess kept hunting my tail, I didn't snap at her, I just tucked my tail in underneath me.  I did that because I know Princess is only little and is just learning.

When Princess hunted Bumpy's tail, he snarled at her, knocked her over pretended he was going to bite her throat,  but I ran right at them and knocked cats flying everywhere, to save Princess.

The other thing I do that Mum is very proud of, is that I get food out of my dish and take it to Princess.  Mum says Princess doesn't really need dog food, but I am a very kind dog for being willing to share.

So Mum is very proud of me because I'm a good dog, and a good big sister. So even though being a big sister can be hard work sometimes, it's really great that Mum notices how hard I am trying.

Licks and Tail Wags

Miss Fantasia Dog
(Call me Fanta)

Mischief

Fanta, Princess and Bumpy asleep on the bed.

Sometimes, the mrbumpycat.com animals forget that Mum also likes to sleep in the bed, and they forget to leave enough room for her.

Princess, amid mass destruction.

Sometimes, one offender gets caught on camera, while the accomplice gets away.

Princess, biting Mum's toe.

Sometimes, humans learn things, such as how sharp a kitten's teeth are, by painful experience.

Monday, 4 June 2018

Art of Puking Redux

Yes, I'm awesome - Mr Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

A few years ago, I wrote an informative post on the Art of Puking.  I'm sure many, many cats have learned a great deal from that post.

Today, I want to give you a masterclass to show exactly where refining your puking skills can take you.

For this particular puke,  I really had to do my preparation.  I gulped down my wet food in two seconds flat, then I ate a huge amount of dry food, and topped it off with what was left over from Princess' wet food.

I had super-gorged and the shortest amount of time possible.  That is really the absolute best preparation for a master puke.

Then I went to the tallest floor of the cat tower, leaned over the far side and hurled.

I puked over three floors of the cat tower (on the inaccessible side, so the humans had to move it to clean up) the curtain, the wall, the floor, and Princess.  Oh, did I mention Princess was having a nap under the cat tower?

You should have heard Mum scream!

Mum screamed as she ran to the bathroom with Princess and stuck her under the tap.  She yelled as Mr D cam running with a cloth for her to use to clean up Princess.

She'd settled down to a rant as she and Mr D pulled out the cat tower and cleaned everything up.

She was still grumbling when they put the cat tower in place and the whole lounge room smelled like disinfectant.

It was great.  It was the absolute best entertainment I've had in ages.

Yes, I know I'm awesome.  I know I deserve all the accolades. You can all prostrate yourselves before my glory.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,




Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Master Puker,
Supreme Feline Overlord.




Hey you - yes you.  
Wanna buy a Supreme Feline Overlord some treats? (Just for me, the others are too fat already.)
You can give me a dollar or two here: paypal.me/IrisCarden
Or you can commit to giving me a dollar or two every month here: https://www.patreon.com/IrisCarden
Your gift would help pay for the blog's domain name and boring stuff like that, but could also get me some of my favourite treats.

Saturday, 26 May 2018

Free Love

"Really, all I'm asking for is total and complete
adoration." - Mr Bumpy Cat.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I would like to advocate for free love.  That's kitten-free love, dog-free love as well.

When humans are cuddling me, stroking me, generally giving me adoration, that time should be all about me.

They should not have to put me down to go and stop a kitten from chewing a power cord, or getting into the washing machine.  (Actually the little furball has a lot of hair, the washing machine could be an efficient way to maintain it.)

The lap I'm occupying should not suddenly have a dog head placed on it, with pleading puppy eyes looking up at my human.

No-one should suddenly pounce me or the human who is giving me attention. No-one should have any kind of crisis that requires human intervention.

Really, all I'm asking for is total and complete adoration from the humans.  Is that too much for a supreme feline overlord to ask?

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,



Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat
Supreme Feline Overlord






Hey you - yes you.  
Wanna buy a Supreme Feline Overlord some treats? (Just for me, the others are too fat already.)
You can give me a dollar or two here: paypal.me/IrisCarden
Or you can commit to giving me a dollar or two every month here: https://www.patreon.com/IrisCarden
Your gift would help pay for the blog's domain name and boring stuff like that, but could also get me some of my favourite treats.

Wednesday, 23 May 2018

Bumpy's Fan Club

Princess
Princess: Bumpy, you're amazing!

Bumpy: I know. Leave me alone.

Princess: Can I cuddle with you?

Bumpy: No.

Princess: One day I'm going to be a big cat just like you. I'm going to go out into the yard and fight the possums and get a scar on my face just like you.

Bumpy: Clear off kid, and leave me alone.

Princess: Bumpy guess what? I've learned how to pounce!

Bumpy: Don't even think about it.  Oh! (Pawswipe.) Get off me!

Princess: Aren't I good at that?  Is that how you pounced the possums? I bet it was. I bet you're the absolute best at pouncing.

Mr Bumpy
Bumpy: How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone.

Princes: You're funny, always pretending to be grumpy. I love you Bumpy. (Smooches.)

Bumpy: Ew!  Clear off kid.  This is just too much. (Snarls.)

Mum: OK Princess, let's give Mr Bumpy a break for a bit, huh?  (Picks up Princess and takes her away.)

Princess: (Wiggling wildly.) But Mum! I want to go and play with Bumpy.  He's the absolute greatest.

Bumpy: I finally get someone around here who understands my awesomeness, and it's an annoying little kid.



Tuesday, 22 May 2018

No!

Image - seal point rag doll kitten, Princess
"How could anyone say 'no' to someone as cute as me?"
- Princess
Hello

My humans have a favourite word.  It's "no".  They use it all the time.

They say: "No, Princess, don't eat that electric cord."

And they say, "No, don't drink my coffee."

And they say, "No, don't pounce Bumpy, he can't cope."

And they say, "No you can't go outside."

And they say, "No, get off the dining table."

And they say, "No, get out of the workings of the recliner."

And they say, "No, you can't get in the washing machine. No, you can't be in the cupboard. No don't eat that. No, don't climb Budgie Towers."

They say "no", "no", "no", to me all day!

Now I ask you.  Look at me.  How could anyone say "no" to someone as cute as me?

Well, my cruel, heartless, humans do. They say "no" all the time.

Don't you think that's just wrong?

Princess Purrs