Sunday, 4 September 2016

Sorry, No Photos

Mum didn't take photos.

Mum was making breakfast, when Bumpy came in with a live bird.

Mum dropped everything and chased Bumpy, who ran to the studio, closely followed by Fanta.  Mum shut the door to the hallway, to contain the chaos, then chased Bumpy around the studio.  Mum caught Bumpy, who let go of the bird.

The bird flew to the top of the art supplies cupboard, with Fanta following closely.

Fanta tried to jump at the bird, which decided to fly much further - circled the room with Fanta and now Bumpy both giving chase then went through to the laundry, followed by animals.  Mum closed the door between the studio and the laundry so the bird wouldn't go back that way and opened the back door.  The bird saw freedom, and flew straight out and landed in a tree.

Fanta and Bumpy both ran out to the yard. Bumpy to sit under the tree and look menacingly at the bird, Fanta to run around and around for no apparent reason.

Mum went back inside and considered locking the animal door and leaving them all out (but didn't).

In the hallway, she met a half-awake Percy who was coming to find out what had been going on.

Mum told him he'd missed everything, so Percy went out to find his morning patch of sunlight instead.

During all of this, Mum, being a human and not very bright, completely failed to get the camera and take photos for the readers of mrbumpycat.com.

Mr Bumpy would like to point out that he did not break the "no corpses in the house" rule.

Friday, 2 September 2016

You Can't Wear That!


Miss Fantasia:  Er Mum, you're not really going out like that are you?

Mum: It's fancy dress. I'm a donkey.

Sir Percival: Mum's an animal? Hilarious.

Sir Percival: Whoops! I almost fell off the chair!

Mr Bumpy: Ha ha! Percy, you're almost as funny as Mum!

Miss Fantasia: Sometimes I worry about my family.

Friday, 26 August 2016

Lucky Guess

Mum: Been having a nice roll in the dirt and grass, have you?


Mr Bumpy: Why yes, I found a lovely sunny spot to roll in. But however did you know?


Mum: Just a lucky guess.


Mr Bumpy: I hope she's not psychic.  There's too much I don't want her to know.

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

In the Back Yard


Mr Bumpy: So, Percy, now you've got back yard privileges, do you want to me to show you how to get around the "cat proofing" and escape the yard?


Sir Percival: Oh no Bumps, old fellow.  That would only make the servants worry. We can't have that. Noblesse Oblige and all that.


Miss Fantasia: See Bumpy, you're the only bad animal in this family.


Sir Percival: Fanta dear! Young ladies need to show a little more decorum! (Sigh.) How did I end up with a family like this?




Sunday, 14 August 2016

Shameless Self-Promotion



Settle in for story time.

This is me reading "Spring Cleaning" one of the short stories in my new book Patchwork.

Friday, 5 August 2016

Percy in the Great Outdoors


I've been granted backyard privileges,

on a trial basis.

This is great.

I can see the whole yard.

I think I'll go back to the couch now.

Thursday, 4 August 2016

Cut It Out



Mum: Percy! I'm trying to cut out a dress pattern here.

Percy: Maybe you should do that somewhere else.  Don't trim the tail.