Sunday, 11 September 2011

I Need Catnip!

This is the purrrrrrrrrrrfect spot for catnip.

Good morning out there in the bloggosphere.

I've just found the purr-fect spot for my new catnip garden.  Now all I have to do is send a human to obtain the catnip and plant it for me.

Here at headquarters, it has been another stressful week. (This is why I need my catnip - do you hear that humans?)

The industrial dispute with the Rat Collective shows no sign of being resolved.  (And putting on a new rat, Montgomery, did not help. He may be black and white and look like he could be my little brother - but he's rat through and through.) Now they say that unless I stop saying mean things about them, they are going to have rolling stoppages.  I said that Chester Rat is so fat that if he starts rolling he'll never be able to have a stoppage.  Rupert Rat says if I keep that up I can explain myself to the Industrial Commission and the RSPCA.

The humans are all taking the day off because one of them is having a birthday.  Big deal! I have a birthday every year too, but no-one makes a fuss of that.

This one asked Mum to make her a cake with a bird on it.  Sure, Mum said, she could do that. I ask Mum for a bird cake every year, and Mum tells me I'm a bad cat and leave the budgies alone. The whole world discriminates against cats.  It's jealousy of course, everyone hates that cats are superior in every way.

So, I'm off to dig in my garden a bit, preparing for my catnip plants.  Have fun out there in the bloggosphere.

Kindest Regards
Mr Bumpy

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