Monday, 31 October 2011

Loafing, as Demonstrated by Experts

Thank you Lyndal R for forwarding these awesome cat pictures to us.  No-one knows how to nap like a cat!

Monday, 24 October 2011

Penguins in Pyjamas

New Zealand Penguins in Need of Sweaters - ABC News:

'via Blog this'
(Photo credit: Toby Zerna/Newspix/Rex USA)
Check out the above link.

It's very cute, but these penguin outfits have a serious purpose.  Knitters in New Zealand are helping protect penguins from the damaging effects of the New Zealand oil spill.

Oily birds are dressed in jumpers, until the oil is cleaned off - so they don't eat the oil while trying to clean their own feathers.

It may be the result of an environmental disaster - but these little guys look very stylish in their new outfits!

Sunday, 23 October 2011

The Apocalypse has begun! Zombies Overrun Brisbane

This photograph was taken in our backyard earlier today....

These used to be some of our favourite people - now they're mindless, brain-eating, 20-year-olds!

Harold Camping warned us about this, but did we listen? No. So the zombie apocalypse is now here - there's about 10 000 of these things in the city, and no-one was ready for it.

What are the police doing about it?

As this official Queensland Police Facebook Post warns - they're recommending we stay out of the way - and don't drive into the city while they're there. Police giving traffic warnings about where to avoid driving, and redirecting motorists to avoid the area.

Zombie walk – traffic advisory #bnetraffic

by Queensland Police Service on Sunday, October 23, 2011 at 3:52pm
The 2011 Zombie Walk is currently underway in Brisbane.  With approximately 10,000 attendees involved traffic delays are being experienced.

The zombies are currently making their way out of King George Square and turning left onto Adelaide Street.  From there they will turn right into Edward Street, left into Queen Street, then onto Wickham Street and finish at Centenary Place Fortitude Valley.

Police recommend avoiding the area if possible, or delay your trip.  Police are performing traffic control along the route.
It's all too much. They were in OUR BACK YARD!!!!

I need a nap.
Maybe some cream.
Mr Bumpy,

Cherry's New Phone

Cherry Rat mastering her new phone.
Oh, Hello.... Hello... O Dear...

Oh, Good Morning.

Excuse me.  I keep missing calls. It's a bit awkward, really.

Mr Bumpy's been trying to be a really good boss lately, and he got me a new phone.  He says a good business phone would be good for the Not To Be Taken Seriously image.  So he gave me this phone. It looks almost the same as Mum's, except Mum's says "Blackberry" and mine says "Backberry".

Mum's is a really good phone, so I think mine should be, too. But I can't seem to work out how to operate it. People keep calling and I can't work out how to answer.  Rupert says if it's important they'll leave a message - but I don't know how to get the messages. Chester says maybe the problem is my network. Does anyone know if "Vodaphone" is a good network? Mum says the problem may be that it uses AA batteries.

I'm getting really frustrated with my phone. I know Bumpy spent two whole dollars on it - which is more than he's ever spent on equipment for any of us - so I really need to learn. I wouldn't want him to think I was ungrateful, and maybe go back to being a mean boss.

So what's going on apart from the phone?

Well, Mr Bumpy's back at work again, but he's a reformed cat, or he's trying to be. He's decided to keep sharing the cat-it-orial, so everyone can get a turn now and then. He's also letting us have lunch breaks.

The vet told him to chill out, and let go of some control. He told Bumpy that calming down would help him with his industrial relations problems as well as helping him with little stress problem. So Bumpy's trying really hard to have his catnaps, and let everyone else have proper breaks as well.

Since he's trying to be a good cat now, we're also trying to help him out. We're sharing the work a bit more evenly, and even Chester's stopped sneak-pulling his tail.

Well, that's all the news.  Oh, wait.... Oh Dear, missed that call as well. Which button should I push?

Thanks for all the wonderful emails and jokes you've been sending in.  Please send us lots more, we really love to read them. Our email address is

 Hello,  hello,  Oh dear, not again.

As Mr Bumpy says, see you in the bloggosphere,
Cherry Rat

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Mr Bumpy's On Sick Leave

Rupert Rat, Assistant Editor.
Good morning,

As you may be aware, Mr Bumpy's on extended sick leave. He's apparently sick of all of us. Which probably means he shouldn't have tried to eat us.

I'm told he'll be back this week, some time, so we're tidying up the office, cleaning out our cages (yes, we do work in cages), and trying to get everything up to date. It would be terrible if he had a breakdown as soon as he came back, wouldn't it?

(Contrary to what Mr Bumpy appears to think, the Rat Collective really don't have it in for him, we'd just like some safe and fair working conditions.)

Anyway, we need lots of jokes around the office, lots of happy, happy, happy words and thoughts to cheer up our slightly psychotic boss. Otherwise our tails could be bitten off (or worse, our heads!)

Mr Woof's recovered quite well from his trauma. His hair's still a bit patchy, but once he's lying in the sun he doesn't care. I'm told he used to like going for walks, and even getting into mischief, but that was a very long time ago. He's normally a very contented old fellow, and copes quite well with most of what Mr Bumpy dishes out.

So what did you think of young Monty last week?  I think he's got lots of potential. Very enthusiastic about his work too. He loves a good joke, and always ready to have a turn on the keyboard.  He wasn't confident about his computer skills at first, but he's getting better.  He seems to be getting on very well with the humans as well. Understanding humans is very important in the business of blogging. Yes, I think our young Monty is going to go far.

Well, it's morning tea time now, and there's a nice piece of apple core over there with my name on it (as long as Chester doesn't get to it first - he certainly has an appetite!) Have a great week out there in the big wide world. Enjoy reading our blog, and please write to us at

Yours faithfully,
Rupert Rat
Assistant Editor

Sunday, 9 October 2011

Monty Tries A Cat-it-orial

Montgomery Rat has his first try at the Cat-it-orial.

Well, Good morning everyone!

I don't know if you've heard, but Mr Bumpy's having a little holiday. The vet says he's not to have any stress for a little while.

Woof didn't want to do the cat-it-orial this week, because last time he tried, he ended up tied up in duct tape - it's a long story. Rupert said I could have a go if I wanted.

I'm the newest member of the Not To Be Taken Seriously team.  My name's Montgomery, but you can call me Monty if you like. I'm about two months old, so I'm the youngest as well. (I'm not the smallest. Fang budgie is much smaller than me. Fang got her name and Mum got a sore finger at the same time.)

My favourite things to do are running over other rats, eating apple cores and playing with the humans. I'm only just learning the computer. It takes all four paws.  Sometimes I mess it up and  have to make corrections. Rupert says that's fine, he says everybody takes time to learn things. Mum says just don't wee on the keyboard.

So, we've had a few good jokes come in through the email this week, and all the Rat Collective had a great time laughing at them.  We're handling things pretty well around here, even with Bumpy not being able to work.

Poor old Woof's looking a bit strange - he had an odd haircut as a result of being taped up. Cherry said that was a very bad thing Bumpy did to Woof. She says you have to respect a really old dog - and Woof's really really old. (He's 13! Really? Can you imagine it? Do you know anyone that old? He's more than twice as old as Bumpy.)  Everyone loves Woof, he's a funny old dog, with a bad leg and he falls asleep all the time, but we all know he loves us.

Anyway, apart from Woof being a bit worse for wear and Bumpy needing a long rest, all is well here.

We'd all love to hear from you. Please send us lots of jokes or funny emails, or stories about awesome animals you might know. If you have any tips about strange news or really funny websites, let us know about them too. Our email address is

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Not All Heroes are Human

James Crane worked on the 101st floor of Tower 1 of the World Trade Center .. He is blind so he has a golden retriever named Daisy.

After the plane hit 20 stories below, James knew that he was doomed, so he let Daisy go, out of an act of love. She darted away into the darkened hallway.

Choking on the fumes of the jet fuel and the smoke James was just waiting to die. About 30 minutes later, Daisy comes back along with James' boss,

Who Daisy just happened to pick up on floor 112.

On her first run of the building, she leads James, James' boss, and about 300 more people out of the doomed building.

But she wasn't through yet, she knew there were others who were trapped.
So, highly against James' wishes she ran back in the building.

On her second run, she saved 392 lives. Again she went back in. During this run, the building collapses. James hears about this and falls on his knees into tears.

Against all known odds, Daisy makes it out alive, but this time she is carried by a firefighter. "She led us right to the people, before she got injured" the fireman explained.

Her final run saved another 273 lives. She suffered acute smoke inhalation, severe burns on all four paws, and a broken leg, but she saved 967 lives. Daisy is the first civilian Canine to win the Medal of Honor of New York City.

I hope you enjoyed this story. I thought it was terrific.

Pass it on to all animal lovers ... Remember love is to be shared to be multiplied..

This one's not funny - but it sure is an awesome animal story.  

Thank you Helen P for forwarding this. 

If you have an amazing animal story, or a strange or funny email forward or a joke, send it to

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Mr Bumpy: "I Am Not On A Power Trip"

I'm not a bad cat, just misunderstood.

Hello in the Bloggosphere,

Yes, I am back. Last week's little incident won't happen again, mostly because Woof is now kept permanently bound and gagged, and will not be allowed near the computer. Woof is not very bright, as you may have noticed from reading his Cat-it-orial, but let me assure you he is harmless.

The rats have been appropriately punished for the "while the cat's away the rats will play" attitude.

Now that I'm back at my editor's desk, I need to clear the air about some things.

There is a rumour going around (and I think it began with tweets from the bird cage, but I can't prove it) that I am some kind of megalomaniac.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

I am a simple, loving, caring cat.  I only expect my employees will work to a standard which shows that they care as much for the outcome as I do. That's not a lot to expect, is it?  After all, we're only producing a blog here at Not To Be Taken Seriously, not invading Poland, how hard can their work be?

I don't expect any of my staff to risk their lives in serving me, although if the situation arose, hmmm, I wonder how the situation could arise?

I don't unfairly restrain or torture my staff. The cages, chains, etc are for their own protection. (Mostly, they're to protect them from me, but that's beside the point.)

No, don't believe anything you might hear. I am not on some mad, power trip. I am just a humble, simple cat.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I am
Mr Bumpy
Chief Executive Officer of Not To Be Taken Seriously
Lord and Master
Prime Minister
Supreme Ruler of the Universe

.... Ah, excuse me everyone.  Bumpy's just off for a little trip to the vet's now. Don't worry, we got the duct tape off Woof, and only had to cut off a bit of his hair to do it.  There'll be a new joke on the blog tomorrow, whether Bumpy's home again or sedated at the vet's.  Have a great week, and send us plenty of jokes at Regards, Rupert and the Rat Collective.