Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Walk on the Wild Side

Check out this cool BBC show Walk on the Wild Side.

Thanks Josh B. for sending the link.

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Instructions For Bosses

Good morning,

I'm sorry I don't have a photo for you today. I didn't know I was doing the cat-it-orial.  I was just packing up to go back to my nice cage on Friday, when Mr Bumpy said, "Cherry, you've got the cat-it-torial for Sunday under control, haven't you?"

Well, it was the first I'd heard about it. So now I'm staying back late - and I think I've missed pumpkin seeds for dinner - writing a cat-it-orial and I haven't even thought what it should be about.

So, I think, I'll give all you bosses out there (like a certain Mr Bumpy), some advice on how to get the most out of your administrative staff.

  1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4pm and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
  2. If it's really a rush job, run and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.
  3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
  4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all my limbs.
  5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which one is a priority. I am psychic.
  6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this place and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
  7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If it gets out, it could mean a promotion.
  8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. i like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
  9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
  10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
  11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.
  12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the one about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus cheque you received for being such a good manager.
  13. Wait until my yearly review and then tell me what my goals should have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
Yours faithfully
Cherry Rat

If you boys have eaten all the pumpkin seeds there'll be trouble!

Monday, 21 November 2011

Happy Birthday Lawrence!

A special Happy Birthday to Lawrence!

Lawrence lives with a rabbit named Chewie, and they're all the way on the other side of the world in England! He's nine today.  He is a special friend to both Mr Woof and Mr Bumpy. We haven't seen him for a while, so this is an old photo - you have to imagine the same boy only bigger!

Happy Birthday Lawrence, from all the NTBTS animals (and your Auntie Iris and your cousins send their love too.)

Since this is a special Lawrence's Birthday edition of NTBTS, we chose some jokes especially for Lawrence.

Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
A: There's footprints in the butter.

Q: What did one street say to the other?
A: I'll meet you at the corner.

Q: Why didn't the budgie need sugar?
A: She was already very tweet.

Lawrence - are you having cake? Can you send me crumbs? Love from Cherry Rat.

Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: They always go around in schools.

Q: What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A: A centipede with sore feet!

Lawrence - enjoy your purrrrrrrthday. Love from Mr Bumpy.

Q: How do elephants hide in the strawberry patch?
A: They paint their toenails pink.

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I'll meet you at the corner.

Lawrence - have a grrrrrrrrrreat day! Tail wags and licks from Mr Woof.

Q: When is a street not a street?
A: When it turns into a lane.

Q: What happened to the upside down duck?
A: He quacked up!

Lawrence - lots of noisy twitters from the budgies..

Q: Where do you take a sick duck?
A: To the quack!

Q:  Where do monsters go if they lose their hands?
A: To the second-hand shop.

Lawrence - what Cherry said about cake, us too. Love from Rupert, Chester and Montgomery Rats.

And here are some jokes Lawrence sent us! (These are so funny Saphire Budgie fell off his perch laughing at them!)

Q: What's a werewolf's favourite time of year?
A: Howl-oween.

Q:  What's a clam's favourite football team?
A: Shellsea. (Like Chelsea - for people outside the UK.)

A secret agent was told by his boss that for his next mission he was going under cover. So he put a cover over himself.

A man took a pet mouse back to the pet shop for a refund. He said to the shopkeeper: "It kept biting my fingers, and it wouldn't work the computer at all!"

Lawrence, you know what's wrong with this last joke? You need a RAT to work the computer! - from Rupert and the Rat Collective.
Montgomery, demonstrating a rat working the computer.
Have a great birthday Lawrence!
And everyone else have a great Lawrence's birthday too!
See you tomorrow with more jokes.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Caption Contest

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I'm told that Christmas is coming and that it might be a good idea if I actually gave something to someone this Christmas. The Rat Collective are all looking hopeful, the Twitters from the Birdcage are all sounding suspicious, and Mr Woof says he doesn't want anything from me at all -ever.

But, just as I've been told that this great time of year is coming, I've had an email from Lyndal R, who has sent this wonderful photo (below) which doesn't seem to have any explanation.  She suggested that readers might like to come up with a caption for it.

So, to prove I am actually a generous cat, this is what I'm going to do. On the Sunday before Christmas, I'm going to give a $AUD20 gift voucher to Iris' Shirt Shop to the person who gives me the best caption for this picture.  

To enter, click on "Submit a Joke" at the bottom of this blog post, and leave your caption.  Although you can comment anonymously, you can only win if you leave me a way to contact you. (I just need to be able to email the voucher to the winner.)  So to be in the running you have to sign in with a Google account or similar.  I reserve the right to remove any entry I deem unsuitable from the site. (Kids look at this site sometimes.)

Alternately, you can enter by sending me an email at iriscarden@sometimesitislupus.com with the subject heading "caption contest entry."

The competition closes at 6am Australian Eastern Standard Time on Saturday, December 17, 2011, and the winner will be announced in the NTBTS Cat-it-orial on Sunday, December 18, 2011.

So, here is the photo you're trying to caption:
Have fun captioning, you have four weeks to come up with something astounding.

Yours faithfully.
Mr Bumpy

Sunday, 13 November 2011


Mr Bumpy, far more relaxed.

Good morning out there in the bloggosphere,

Thank you to everyone who intended to send me get well cards and their best wishes, and of course all the wonderful presents you thought about giving me. I am feeling much better. The vet gave me this stuff called purrrrrrrrrzac, which really has helped.  He also gave me a CD to play which has lots of quiet music, and every now and then a soft voice saying, "It's OK, you don't have to be in charge of the world, you can just be a house cat." And he told Mum I needed massages twice a day. Mum asked if I needed a butler a chef and a personal nurse as well, but the vet said she didn't need to go that far.

Even the Rat Collective have been more co-operative employees. Cherry said she really appreciated her new phone.  I think getting that for her was a really good business decision - I hear her ringtone all day and all night. I must be getting hours more work out of her now that everyone can find her.

Woof's still a bit wary of me. When he sees me in the hallway, he won't walk past, just sits and cries until Mum comes along and carries him wherever he wants to go. I know he's getting on, but seriously, are we being a bit overdramatic? I didn't really do anything that bad to him did I? What's a bit of duct tape between friends? Well, maybe "friends" is a bit of a strong term here - what's a bit of duct tape between a bloggercat and his doggsbody? Surely duct tape features in every doggsbody's career at some time?

Anyway, must go, there's rats and budgies to intimidate - I mean motivate.

Until next time we meet in the bloggosphere,
I remain,
Yours faithfully
Mr Bumpy

Thursday, 10 November 2011

Dog problems

The police came to our house and said: "Your dog has been chasing someone on a bike."

I said: "That's rubbish. Our dog hasn't got a bike!"

Thanks Trisha for this great joke.

Awesome Animals

Monday, 7 November 2011

The Christchurch Earthquake - A Happy Story

 This isn't a joke - but it is an awesome animal story we received through the email.....

The story begins after the Christchurch earthquake with the rescuers finding this poor little guy they named Ralphie.  Someone had already taken him under their wing but they weren't equipped to adopt.
Ralphie, scared and starved, joined his rescuers.. 
I wouldn't think anything could live through this.... but we were wrong.
This little lady also survived that wreckage. 
Here she is just placed in the car - scared, but safe.
and then..they are no longer alone!
Instant friends, they comforted each other while in the car. 
Add two more beagles found after that... the more, the merrier! 
Oh boy, a new traveler to add to the mix... (Note: the cat coming over the seat needing shelter...) Now just how is this going to work? (and remember they are all strange to one another )
It's going to work just fine, thank you very much!
Wow! The things we learn from our animal friends...

If only all of mankind could learn such valuable lessons as this.

Lessons of instant friendship. of peace and harmony by way of respect for one another -- no matter one's colour or creed.

These animals tell you... "It's just good to be alive and with others."

Yes, it surely is!.

So... Live, love, laugh.

"Life's a Gift... Unwrap It!"

Thank you Lindy S. for this amazing animal story. 

Found on Facebook:

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Mr Bumpy's Best Friend

No written Cat-it-orial today - but wanted to share a video of Mr Bumpy getting together with his best friend (the can opener.)

Mr Bumpy also has his own t-shirt design (in mugs as well) at Iris' Shirt Shop.

"Nap Time" Iris' Shirt Shop design
Montgomery Rat has one as well:
"Homework" Iris' Shirt Shop design