Friday, 30 December 2011

Mr Bumpy's Wrap-Up of 2011

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

The year's about to end, and I thought it would be a good time to wrap up the achievements of the NTBTS animals for the year.

Blue Picatso Shirt Shop Design
Best Bites of 2011 The award has to go to Cherry Rat. She's bitten everyone! She's even drawn blood, on Miss 20's friend. Honourable mentions must go to Montgomery Rat and Fang Budgie, who've also both given Mum a few good nips.

Best Emergency Visit to the Vet 2011. This one's all mine (well mine and a kookaburra's). I got into a little territorial dispute with a kookaburra. (No-one believes me that he started it.) Kooka had to be caught and taken to the vets straight away - my injury wasn't obvious until the next day, when it got infected. I had two days at the vets. The vet gave me a long lecture about picking fights with carrion eaters - their bites always get infected.

Cubist Picatso Shirt Shop Design
Biggest Bruise of 2011. Storm Budgie wins this. Of course, it's relative, because there's not a lot of room on a budgie. She's got a bruise up the entire of one leg.  Mum saw her hanging upside down the other morning, and said that's odd, but since Storm wasn't making a noise or acting like she was in distress, Mum thought she was having fun.  An hour or so later Miss 20 came along and said, "Look at Storm, she's just hanging upside down!"  Then Mum took a closer look.  Storm had a wire out of a seed block stuck through her leg ring.   It took two humans a very careful effort to rescue her.  Then Storm sat with Miss 20 for an hour or so until she was ready to go back to the cage. After that, even though her leg was bruised all the way up, she just didn't let anything stop her.  She limps on the perch, and favours her leg a bit, but still uses it for climbing the walls of the cage, and hanging on to things. She's one tough little bird, and she's not letting the leg and claw get stiff, even though they are sore.

Homework Shirt Shop Design
Most Unpopular Animal of 2011. This goes to Mr Woof. He got fleas - so I got sprayed as well as him. I told Mum I didn't have fleas. I don't even talk to Mr Woof, but she wouldn't listen.  (Note: this is Mr Bumpy's opinion only. Everyone else loves Mr Woof - Rupert Rat, assistant editor,  and the Rat Collective.)

Best Attempt to Take Over the World of 2011. OK, so I didn't succeed - but there's always next year. And the world is only being run by humans at the moment, so of course it could be better done.

Best Boss of 2011. Well, of course, it has to be me, Mr Bumpy, Bloggercat. All of the animals at NTBTS are incredibly grateful that I allow them to work for me. (There's no point in arguing, he won't listen anyway - Cherry Rat, receptionist.)

Nap Time Shirt Shop Design
Best Human of 2011. This was a joke, of course. Humans are functional at most, but never especially good for anything. (How can you say that? Our humans are so good to us and take care of us, and keep us from getting lonely - Mr Woof, Doggsbody.)

Best Breakage of 2011. What can I say, there's been so many?  Of course, they're all mine! Well, if humans didn't want things broken, they wouldn't leave them on tables or shelves or in cupboards - all perfectly normal places for a cat to frequent.

Most Appearances in a Shirt Shop Design for 2011. Me again! I have three, and Montgomery has one. They're here on the page, in case you've forgotten how awesome a model I am.

So, that's my wrap-up of the year.....

I look forward to sharing 2012 with you.

Remember, keep sending me your jokes, strange email forwards, and awesome animal stories to .

Have a purrrrfect New Year.

Mr Bumpy,

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Daring rescue after angry croc steals mower

Daring rescue after angry croc steals mower:

'via Blog this'

Ever thought, maybe it's not a good time to mow the lawn? Elvis the crocodile stole the mower being used to tidy up his pen. Apparently, he didn't think the lawn needed to be done just then.

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Happy Christmas!

Mr Santa Woof at the NTBTS Christmas party.
From everyone here at NTBTS - we wish you and your family a purrrrrrrfect Christmas!

Friday, 23 December 2011

Graphic Pictures - Beware of overindulging over Christmas

5 Beers
Too many margaritas
Three Kamikazis.
Seven rum and cokes.
One large purple haze.
Three martinis.
One bottle tequila.

2 bottles of wine (shared of course)

2 glasses of wine

If you got a chuckle or smile,
pass it on to someone who
Loves animals too.

And even if they are not animal people,
send it anyway, this is cute.

Thank you Lyndal R for this great email - and enjoy your Christmas holiday.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

And the winner is.. Oooops!

Well, we've had the caption contest running for about a month - here is our picture, and the winning caption, by                                    is                                                   

And here's the other entries.....

Well, that's embarrassing! No-one entered! Our poor little elephant remains unexplained - perhaps he is inexplicable. 

Why did the little elephant face-plant at the beach? It's a joke still missing its punch line.

Sunday, 11 December 2011


Good morning out there in the bloggosphere.

I'm feeling  a very under-a-purrrrr-ciated cat at the moment.

I have been trying hard to be a good boss, to be nice to everyone in my dominion here at NTBTS. I even put a present under the Christmas tree. I thought it was a very good present. I would have loved it if someone had given me a dead mouse.  Mum and the other humans carried on about how disgusting it was! My gift to them! Mum picked it up with a plastic bag, bagged and double-bagged it and put it in the wheelie-bin!

The humans have been trying to make it up to me by telling me just how clever I was to know that that was what you're supposed to do - put presents under the tree. But every time they say how clever it was, they say along with it things like, "very clever but really disgusting."

To top it all off, Mum tells me there's going to have to be some changes to my "pet" project. Mum has lupus and it's flaring.  I don't know for sure what that means except  she sleeps almost as much as I do, swallows lots of pills (and no-one has to hold her mouth open and force them down her throat) and plugs herself into the zappy machine for her aches and pains.

I walked over the zappy machine once - I'm not going to do that again! My whole body suddenly went tight and I almost flew across the room when I was zapped! Mum said that was a human zappy machine - if they were ever used on cats they would have different settings. I don't care what, I don't want any more zappys.

So, apart from the zappy machine, what Mum's lupus flare means is she's going to put less work into NTBTS. She says I can still have my blog, and we can put on it any jokes that come in by email, or get sent to us through the "Submit a Joke/Comments" link. If we haven't been sent jokes, she says, she doesn't have the energy to go looking for them. It's only my blog she's going to do less work on - she's still keeping up her blog. (Who cares about lupus anyway - cats don't get it, do they?)

 So help a cat out here - send me your jokes, or awesome animal stories, you know I just love stories about awesome animals. Email them or "Submit a joke" and put them in there.

Don't wait for Mum's friends to send her jokes - you know she hasn't got any friends. (Well, who would have friends after they took a perfectly good present from under the Christmas tree and double-bagged it and threw it in the bin? Who stays friends with someone who does things like that?  If I could buy  my own Friskies, I wouldn't be friends with her.)

I hope all your plans for Christmas are going well - and that your presents are a-purrr-ciated.

Until next time we meet in the bloggosphere,
I am
Mr Bumpy,

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Hot dogs are not cool in cars.

Hot dogs are not cool in cars. | AWLQ:

'via Blog this'

Hey humans!!!!!! This link is important!!!!

Every year someone says on tv or in the newspaper or on the radio that it's not a good thing to leave your furry friends in the car.

Now, I know the humans who read NTBTS are far too well trained to do something so awful to their awesome animals - but remember to tell your friends as well. Some humans just never learn.

Remember, if an animal owns you, you are an incredibly lucky human - don't mess it up!

Mr Bumpy

Wow - Did Mr Bumpy just speak up in favour of dogs?
I'm amazed!
Mr Woof

Paralysis Ticks Are No Joke

Good morning out there in the Bloggosphere,

Sorry everyone, but today's cat-it-orial is no joke.

Summer's barely begun, and we animals here at NTBTS are already hearing about other awesome animals being attacked by paralysis ticks.

So animals, get your humans to do something about it. You don't want a tick - and they don't want the vet bills (or worse, to lose you.)

This link will take you to an animal hospital in New South Wales, that can tell you all the information you need to know about ticks.

From our point-of-view, both Mr Woof and I have had ticks at different times.  It wasn't good for either of us. We got very sick. And we had to go to the vet and have needles and stay there a long time, and it was really awful.

I couldn't use my back legs - think about all the things you need back legs for - it wasn't good at all. And then the vet told me I was lucky - if your human doesn't find out soon enough that you're sick, you stop using your lungs.

So animals and humans alike - you know what you have to do. Doggies need their tick collars and cats need their spray. Yes, they stink. Yes the spray leaves everyone involved in the process soaking wet with horrible chemicals. Nobody likes this. But you know what - we like ticks even less.

Take care of yourselves out there in the bloggosphere, and check under your collar and between your toes for ticks.
Yours faithfully
Mr Bumpy