I'm feeling a very under-a-purrrrr-ciated cat at the moment.
I have been trying hard to be a good boss, to be nice to everyone in my dominion here at NTBTS. I even put a present under the Christmas tree. I thought it was a very good present. I would have loved it if someone had given me a dead mouse. Mum and the other humans carried on about how disgusting it was! My gift to them! Mum picked it up with a plastic bag, bagged and double-bagged it and put it in the wheelie-bin!
The humans have been trying to make it up to me by telling me just how clever I was to know that that was what you're supposed to do - put presents under the tree. But every time they say how clever it was, they say along with it things like, "very clever but really disgusting."
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To top it all off, Mum tells me there's going to have to be some changes to my "pet" project. Mum has lupus and it's flaring. I don't know for sure what that means except she sleeps almost as much as I do, swallows lots of pills (and no-one has to hold her mouth open and force them down her throat) and plugs herself into the zappy machine for her aches and pains.
I walked over the zappy machine once - I'm not going to do that again! My whole body suddenly went tight and I almost flew across the room when I was zapped! Mum said that was a human zappy machine - if they were ever used on cats they would have different settings. I don't care what, I don't want any more zappys.
So, apart from the zappy machine, what Mum's lupus flare means is she's going to put less work into NTBTS. She says I can still have my blog, and we can put on it any jokes that come in by email, or get sent to us through the "Submit a Joke/Comments" link. If we haven't been sent jokes, she says, she doesn't have the energy to go looking for them. It's only my blog she's going to do less work on - she's still keeping up her blog. (Who cares about lupus anyway - cats don't get it, do they?)
So help a cat out here - send me your jokes, or awesome animal stories, you know I just love stories about awesome animals. Email them or "Submit a joke" and put them in there.
Don't wait for Mum's friends to send her jokes - you know she hasn't got any friends. (Well, who would have friends after they took a perfectly good present from under the Christmas tree and double-bagged it and threw it in the bin? Who stays friends with someone who does things like that? If I could buy my own Friskies, I wouldn't be friends with her.)
I hope all your plans for Christmas are going well - and that your presents are a-purrr-ciated.
Until next time we meet in the bloggosphere,
I am
Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat
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