I'm feeling a very under-a-purrrrr-ciated cat at the moment.
I have been trying hard to be a good boss, to be nice to everyone in my dominion here at NTBTS. I even put a present under the Christmas tree. I thought it was a very good present. I would have loved it if someone had given me a dead mouse. Mum and the other humans carried on about how disgusting it was! My gift to them! Mum picked it up with a plastic bag, bagged and double-bagged it and put it in the wheelie-bin!
The humans have been trying to make it up to me by telling me just how clever I was to know that that was what you're supposed to do - put presents under the tree. But every time they say how clever it was, they say along with it things like, "very clever but really disgusting."
To top it all off, Mum tells me there's going to have to be some changes to my "pet" project. Mum has lupus and it's flaring. I don't know for sure what that means except she sleeps almost as much as I do, swallows lots of pills (and no-one has to hold her mouth open and force them down her throat) and plugs herself into the zappy machine for her aches and pains.
I walked over the zappy machine once - I'm not going to do that again! My whole body suddenly went tight and I almost flew across the room when I was zapped! Mum said that was a human zappy machine - if they were ever used on cats they would have different settings. I don't care what, I don't want any more zappys.
So, apart from the zappy machine, what Mum's lupus flare means is she's going to put less work into NTBTS. She says I can still have my blog, and we can put on it any jokes that come in by email, or get sent to us through the "Submit a Joke/Comments" link. If we haven't been sent jokes, she says, she doesn't have the energy to go looking for them. It's only my blog she's going to do less work on - she's still keeping up her blog. (Who cares about lupus anyway - cats don't get it, do they?)
So help a cat out here - send me your jokes, or awesome animal stories, you know I just love stories about awesome animals. Email them or "Submit a joke" and put them in there.
Don't wait for Mum's friends to send her jokes - you know she hasn't got any friends. (Well, who would have friends after they took a perfectly good present from under the Christmas tree and double-bagged it and threw it in the bin? Who stays friends with someone who does things like that? If I could buy my own Friskies, I wouldn't be friends with her.)
I hope all your plans for Christmas are going well - and that your presents are a-purrr-ciated.
Until next time we meet in the bloggosphere,