Sunday, 19 February 2012

Mr Bumpy's Out of Control Again

Standard working conditions for the NTBTS animals.
Rupert Rat tells all.

Hello Everyone,

While Mr Bumpy is otherwise engaged (he's having his all-important tenth nap of the day), I thought I'd catch you up on what is really going on here at NTBTS.

If you've been reading the cat-it-orials, or Mr Bumpy's twitter feed, you would realise that his megalamaniacatical tendencies are taking over again. He's recruiting minions for world conquest (again.)

He's also been unusually mean toward Mr Woof. Now, you must understand that usually mean is pretty mean when it comes to Mr Bumpy, so unusually mean is just downright horrible.  Poor old Mr Woof tries to deal with it as best he can, but a lot of the time, he just has to cry for Mum to rescue him.  He is a very, very old dog, and lots of bits of him just don't work any more, and it is really unfair for a strong young cat like Mr Bumpy to keep picking on him.

The Rat Collective are back to working for peanuts (if we're really lucky), and being kept behind bars. If our work isn't up to Mr Bumpy's standard, there is serious trouble. All the gains we made by going to the RSPCA and the Industrial Relations Commission last year have been lost. We are basically slaves of a tyrannicat.  Any time his Friskies are late, he threatens to bit off our tails.  Chester was very brave and reached through the bars and pulled Mr Bumpy's tail - which was very funny but only made Mr Bumpy scared!

So, before he wakes up, I just wanted to tell you - don't trust Mr Bumpy - and whatever you do, don't help him take over the world.

Rupert Rat
Assistant Editor
Not to be Taken Seriously



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