Saturday, 17 March 2012

The Problem with Friskies

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

As many of my Twitter minions would know, I have a particular love of Friskies. Like Mary Poppins, they are "practically perfect in every way."

"Practically", but not "completely". There are only two problems with Friskies. The first is a minor issue. There are meat Friskies, as well as fish Friskies.  Sometimes Mum picks up the wrong pack in the supermarket.  If the Purina company would stop making meat Friskies, that would fix this issue completely. There is really no reason whatsoever to manufacture the meat flavours, because I only like fish.  I do my very best to train Mum, but she is only human after all.

The other problem with Friskies is far more serious.  They come in a cardboard box that a human has to open and pour.  We all know how unreliable humans are. If I decide I want my breakfast at 3am, it should be available at 3am, and Friskies that were put in my bowl the night before are just not good enough. Humans are most uncooperative before their morning alarm goes off.

Humans are uncooperative before their morning alarm.
I have come up with a solution to this problem, however. Purina, the company who make Friskies, should develop a pack that cats can open and pour for ourselves.

This would solve the problem of the uncooperative human - in fact it would remove dependence on humans at all.

I have suggested this to the Purina company, and have assurances it is being worked on. I'm very hopeful the new type of packaging will be released soon. Perhaps it will be called the "Bumpy Pack" in my honour, since I am the genius who has come up with this revolutionary idea.

This is where negotiations are at present:

I'm certain that Lisa at Purina, and I hope she's a cat not an unreliable human, will get something done about the situation very soon. If she writes on the company's Facebook account, she must hold a very senior position in the company, possibly even the CEO.

Until then, cats will have to continue to rely on humans. Humans have hands, which at the moment are essential to opening and pouring Friskies.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I like Friskies, too. Here in Canada, the dry kinds come in bags. These are very easily opened by cats. My brother Rushton is especially good at this but others in the family can do this, too. You can use your teeth or claws... whichever you prefer. Now, the hard part will be to get the unreliable peep to buy bags of your favourite food instead of boxes. Do you think she can manage?


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