Thursday, 15 March 2012

Ten Commandments

Hello out there the Bloggosphere.

You may know that my human is a minister. Last week she had the ten commandments as one of the readings. I took a look at them. I don't know what the fuss is about: God gives this list of rules and for thousands of years people think how clever God is for coming up with them. I'm sure I could do much better - which is why I've decided to write my own ten commandments.

6. You will not take away any mice, lizards, or
small creatures I may be tormenting.

  1. I am the cat. You shall adore only me.
  2. You will not give attention to the dog.
  3. You will always speak nicely to me - and stroke me while you're doing so.
  4. Your lap is always reserved for me.
  5. You will bring to me the first fruits of the Friskies harvest, along with cream and stinky fish.
  6. You will not take away any mice, lizards, or other small creatures I may be tormenting.
  7. You will not work on the computer when I want to be stroked.
  8. You will not step on my jingle balls - even if I leave them in the middle of the hallway in the middle of the night.
  9. You will not yell at me when I break your precious objects.
  10. You will not want the couch, your bed, your chair, or anything else I happen to choose to nap on. If I am on it, it is mine.

I'm sure you will agree, these are a significant improvement on the original.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,

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