Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Demon Cat

Licks and tail wags everyone.

I want to tell you a story about when Mr Bumpy was new here.  (Don't tell him I'm telling you this - I'll get so many nose scratches and surprise pounces out of it.)

He looks innocent, sniffing his catnip, doesn't he?

Not long after the humans brought Mr Bumpy home strange things began to happen here.

Mum used to have all these angel ornaments on top of all the bookshelves.  They were presents she'd been given.

Every day when Mum came home from work and Mr 18 and Miss 20 (who were both much younger then) came home from school, there'd be an angel broken on the floor.

I don't know if you've ever heard it in your house, but in our house: "Mum! There's bits of angel all over the floor again!" became a very common catch-cry.

Mum took the couple of angels that were really important to her, and put them behind glass where no cat could go.  Day by day, the angel population decreased.

Then Mr Bumpy discovered a new trick.  The humans would come home to find an angel or two turned. Instead of facing into the room, they were facing the wall. Mum would straighten them up, but the next day, while the humans were out, they'd be turned again.

That's when Mum started calling Mr Bumpy the "demon cat" because he just loved to make angels fall, and if he couldn't make them fall, he'd turn them.
Don't tell Mr Bumpy I told you this -
 Mr Woof, Doggsbody.

Mr 18, who as I said wasn't 18 then at all, had another theory.  He said if black cats were supposed to be evil, then half-black cats must be only half evil. So Mr Bumpy must be only half demonic.

Eventually the angel collection was reduced to just the special ones Mum put where Mr Bumpy couldn't get them, and some that she put out in the garden. (Bumps leaves them alone out there. No-one knows why.)

Over time, Mr Bumpy stopped being called "demon" or "evil", although sometimes I wonder if maybe those words were really more appropriate than the "bad cat" he gets called when he attacks me or threatens the birds or the rats.

He does still sometimes get called an "environmental disaster", because of the greenhouse gas emissions he produces, but that's probably another story.

Anyway, I better go before Mr Bumpy finds I've got the computer.

Have a great day. Lots of licks. Hope you've found a nice patch of sunlight for your nap-time!

Mr Woof,

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