Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Ear, Ear

It's a great mystery - and I'm not telling the humans
what happened to my ear.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I'm sure you'll be concerned to know that I'm at the centre of a medical mystery.

Something has attacked my ears.  I'm not saying what - because that would mean admitting what trouble I was getting into at the time.  The humans have no doubts whatsoever that I earned my injury. Apparently they know me very well.

I have had some problems with the mina birds lately. Those are the horrible feral birds that even Mum doesn't mind me killing.. Mum doesn't mind me killing them, because they drive out all the native birds - which she doesn't want me to kill.

For the first few weeks or so of winter last year, they were very aggressive towards both Mr Woof and me .  Up to ten at a time would swoop me every time I went outside. It got so I would stand at the doorway and just look out, and never go anywhere. The humans just said the birds were getting even - although once in a while, Mum would come out and wave a broom around to scare the birds so Mr Woof and I could have a few minutes outside.

Well, it's starting again. When I go outside, a flock of savage razor beaks with wings swoops from the heavens and tries to get a piece out of me.  That's what the humans think did get a piece of me. I will neither confirm nor deny this.

I refuse to confirm or deny the theory
that the mina birds got me.
It doesn't really matter what got a piece out of my ear. What's really bad is what the humans are doing to it now.

Mum has decreed, in that irrational way humans decree things that have nothing to do with them, that my ear has to be washed with salty water twice a day and have styptic powder put on it.

Worst of all, my favourite human, Mr 18, is colluding with Mum in this terrible invasion of my dignity. He holds me still while Mum attacks with the salty water and yucky powder. (On the plus side, he does still love me. I know because he gave me cream to say sorry.)

I do deserve lots of cream and sympathy, because the humans have been doing terrible things to me, and don't seem to be going to stop any time soon.

I'm off to drink some more sympathy cream, and have a long nap. It's been a very trying day.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,

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