Thursday, 28 June 2012

World Domination 101 - Respect

"They put one of yours in the hospital.....
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

As you know, I'm an expert on world domination. As Supreme Feline Overlord, there is one thing I demand above everything else, and that is: Respect.

As regular readers will be aware, I was recently shown a great deal of disrespect. My ear was attacked by the rebel feral mina birds.

Mina birds are the lowest form of life on earth - not even Mum likes them because they drive out the native birds.  Mr Woof and I don't like them because they get together in savage flocks reminiscent of Alfred Hitchcock's movie The Birds and swoop us. They are razor beaks on super-fast wings, and when ten or more of these feathered kamikasis come at the same time, it is almost impossible to escape. Mina birds are nothing short of terrorists.

...you put one of theirs in the morgue."
So how do I deal with these evil, organised, rebel forces?

I take advice from Hollywood actor Sean Cattery: "They put one of yours in the hospital, you put one of theirs in the morgue."

A cold, rainy day, when they're trying to stay warm and not flying, is a great time to get them unaware.

(A little digression: look at the picture. My ear's almost healed, despite Mum's insistence on cleaning it and sticking antiseptic powder on it. I'm just about back to my usual, handsome, self.)

This morning, I took my revenge sought justice for the trauma to my poor ear.

This is how I maintain respect. I will not allow these kinds of terrorist actions to go unpunished.  I know some people have a problem with capital punishment - but in my yard, I am judge, jury, and executioner. The Supreme Feline Overlord does not allow for lawlessness and violence.

There was one downside to my victory. Apparently, the no corpses in the house rule still applies on cold, rainy days.  This is an entirely unreasonable decision on Mum's part. I told her numerous times that I was waiting at the courtyard door, but she wouldn't slide the door open. Apparently, she needs more training. I'll deal with her later, the mina birds are a more urgent problem.

Until next time we meet in the bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat.

2 comments:

  1. We have lots & lots of birds here but none that savagely attack in flocks like that. Keep safe, my friend... keep safe. purrs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know me Nerissa, iron claw in a velvet paw. Those birdies will learn their lesson.

      Delete

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