Tuesday, 31 July 2012

The Catlympics

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

You may have noticed that the Owlympics are happening in England at the moment. This has nothing to do with owls, so I don't know why they call it owlympics. It's a big sporting competition, with humans running and jumping, and swimming and shooting and things like that.  It's all a bit boring, really.

But the idea of everyone getting together to enjoy playing games, well, I like that. So after the Revolution, I'm going to institute the Catlypmics.

The events at the Catlympics will include all the things that cats are really good at.

There will be a pouncing event - where competitors will pounce unsuspecting humans, dogs or whatever. Points will be given for grace, athleticism and shock value.

Synchronised  napping (pictured), will involved teams of cats napping. Points will be gained for cuteness, cuddliness of the pile, and for staying asleep while there are distracting noises. Points will be deducted for snoring, restlessness, or disturbing the cat pile.

Cream drinking will be a race to be first to finish a dish of lactose-free cream, and to thoroughly clean whiskers afterwards.

There will be a purring contest where the decibel level of purrs will be measured.  Twitter Minion @PurringSmokey will probably win this, because she currently holds the Guiness World Record for loud purring. Of course, there will always be young cat-thletes trying to beat the record.

Of course, there would be a mouse-catching event. That one's my speciality.

And I think a cross-the-yard dash, while being swooped by vicious feral mina birds is another important cat skill that could be tested by a Catlympic event.

Chasing jingle balls would be an event as well, which would require some great athletic and gymnastic ability. I think that landing on your feet would also be a great event.

I think the first Catlympics will be a very great event indeed. And all of the winners will be given catnip wreaths to celebrate.

It will all be far more interesting and entertaining that the humans' Owlympics.

Until next time we meet in the bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

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