|I was bathed! O the horrible indignity!|
I've had a very trying few days.
Firstly, the weather has been so cold and dry, I started to get static in my hair. Every time Mr 18 went to cuddle me we got terribly zapped. It's terrible to not be able to have a hug from your favourite human. Mum said it was because of my electric personality. I didn't find that at all funny.
Then, I found something that I loved the smell of, and I got it all through my coat. The humans didn't like the smell. Eau de Sewer is apparently not a favourite human scent. Mum was coughing and gagging when she pulled on the rubber gloves and came after me. I ran and hid, of course, but wasn't fast enough.
Ordinarily, Mum is not the kind of human to pull a cat's tail. But something about my perfume seemed to make her go completely crazy. When the only thing she could reach around my toybox under the coffee table was my tail, that's what she grabbed. Well, I of course, sank my claws into the carpet and she pulled, and eventually I had to come out, because I really didn't want my tail to come off.
I wasn't in the best of moods with Mum, as she grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, picked up an old towel, and carried me, dangling by the neck, to the laundry.
I was flailing around claws out reaching for any part of Mum I could possibly get hold of, when she did the most ominous thing. She turned on the taps in the laundry tub. Well, I knew what this meant. I've seen it happen to Mr Woof. (Come to think of it, it happened to me a couple of years ago when I tried Eau de Sewer, too.)
I was unceremoniously put in water, and Mum rubbed soapy stuff through my hair! Then she rubbed water (yes, really, water) through my hair, then more soapy stuff and more water. The whole time I was reaching, struggling, scratching and clawing. Mum was holding me by the scruff of the neck with one rubber-gloved hand, and was rubbing this awful stuff through my hair with the other hand.
Then, she pulled me out of the tub, and wrapped me tightly in a towel, tucking my paws right inside. She handed me to Mr 18, and told him to try to dry me. She said she was exhausted. (I don't see why - she wasn't the one in the water.) Mr 18 gave me a cuddle in the towel, told me it was all right now, and then let me go free.
It took me so long to get my hair back to normal. And then I had to be nice to Mum, because I wanted my stinky fish.
I tell you, this is no way for mere humans to treat their Supreme Feline Overlord. The disrespect and indignity of the whole thing was more traumatic than I care to think of. When the revolution comes, this incident will not be forgotten or forgiven.
Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
Supreme Feline Overlord.