Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Understanding Humans

Yes, this really is me (and Mum).
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I don't know if you've ever stopped to think about how difficult it is to manage humans. They are never truly content.

This morning I woke Mum, by putting my nose in her ear and purring, while chewing on her ear-ring. She said: "Aaaahhhhh! Bumpy stop that!"

So, being in an agreeable mood, I repositioned myself, and sat on her chin with my tail across her nose and mouth and continued purring.

Mum said: "Bumps! I don't need your rump in my face!" Then she picked me up and put me down beside her instead of on her. She only stroked me for about two minutes and then she got up and put on her thick winter dressing gown.

Humans don't seem to realise this, but lovely thick soft winter dressing-gowns are designed specifically for cats to climb on. They are purely for entertainment purposes. So, of course, I climbed up the dressing gown, and settled myself  quite comfortably on Mum's shoulder.

You would think this would have pleased here. I wasn't chewing her ear, and she didn't have my back end in her face - the two things she had been complaining about.  But no, she was still not pleased. She said it was "inconvenient" to try to do things with  a cat hanging down her arm.

So, what this shows is, as I said in the beginning, humans are never content. A human will never just curl up and purr and be happy with the way things are. They always want something different.

This is important information for cats who own humans to be aware of.  Whatever mood your human is in has nothing to do with you. A human can never be happy, so there is no point in modifying your behaviour to get along better with the human you share your home with. Whatever you do makes no difference at all to your human's level of unhappiness.

So, chew up those papers, break the china, shred the curtains. You may as well. You'll never please a human by avoiding doing it.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

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