Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Cat Around The World

And now for something completely different, thanks to FlashGameHQ, a game where you travel around the world, feeding a cat. Purrfect!

Quote of the Day

Mr Bumpy contemplates his next cat-it-orial.
Mr 18: 
He's a good cat. 
Terms and conditions apply.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Mr Bumpy's 2013 Calendar

Buy my calendar here
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Well, I know how much you all love me and want to learn from my wisdom.  So, I now have a calendar for 2013, full of pictures of me, with my advice on how to be a highly effective cat.

Mum says if I sell any at all, I can have an entire tub of cream on my own.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Calendar Model.

Sunday, 23 September 2012

There Were Three In The Bed And The Feline One Said: Get Out!

My bed.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

There's no room for you.
You may know that any comfortable surface in a cat's house is a cat bed.

I have a few favourite beds.  But I'm having a problem with my favourite one at the moment.

Too tired to argue any more.
Mum seems to think it's her bed.  She wants to sleep in it all night, and even have her afternoon nap in it during the day.

Well, I do my best to get through to her.  I've bitten and scratched her, trying to get her to move.

I've stretched right out as far as I could across the bed to show her that there's no room for her.  Whatever I do, she insists on sleeping in my bed.  She says a cat as small as me can't really need a bed as big as this one! 

Seriously, I know humans are dumb, but she is the dumbest.  She's also incredibly stubborn. The big bed is all mine - it's not that hard to understand.

But last night something even worse happened.

Last night, Mr Woof decided that it was his bed, too. I know it's a good bed, but Mum and Mr Woof both invading it, was just too much.

Fortunately, I have the purrfect solution for any crisis.  A nap fixes everything.  So I went to sleep and waited for them to leave.  

They did leave, this morning. But at nap time this afternoon they were both back.  There really is no respect for a Supreme Feline Overlord in this house, or for his favourite bed. I need to find another solution to this problem.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Monday, 3 September 2012


The face of pure evil.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I have met the face of pure evil. It is black and white, and has a long razor-sharp beak. His name is Magpie.

Spring has started, and a very territorial magpie has set up business in our yard.

I know magpies have a reputation for attacking humans who wander into their nesting area.  This one doesn't attack humans. It totally ignores Mr Woof.

But for some reason, every time I leave the house it dives at me at a thousand kilometres per hour, narrowly missing me with the deadly razor-beak.  Worse than that, it has a side-kick. A mina bird (yes, the pesky mina birds again) follows right behind it, so I get two synchronised swoops together.

The Supreme Feline Overlord courageously
seeks cover.
Mum has once again proved herself a totally useless minion. Instead of helping me fight off the evil attackers, she took photographs, and even tried (and failed) to get video footage of an event.

She and Mr Woof followed me with the camera, trying to get shots of these attacks.

I think there is a question of media ethics here. Mum used to be a journalist, so she thinks her job is just to document what is happening.  But she's not an impartial observer, she's my human. Her job should be to serve all my needs, including fighting with the evil attacker.

The Supreme Feline Overlord should not have to dirty his paws with these nasty creatures.

I will not back down over this issue. My yard should me mine to use as I see fit. This evil creature will not win. I am not running away. I'm just going inside for a nap.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Do you have a great joke to contribute to this blog? Please email it to .

Sunday, 2 September 2012

Farewell Cherry Rat

Cherry Rat

It's always a sad day when one of our number falls during the struggle against oppression (aka Mr Bumpy).

Last night, Miss Cherry Rat passed away.

Readers of this blog might remember Cherry as the receptionist who had some problems learning how to use her new phone, or as the recipient of last year's best bite award.

Cherry did eventually learn how to use that phone, and we boys in the next cage were kept awake by her ringtones going all night for many, many nights.  And she was indeed a celebrated biter, even more than Fang the Budgie, because Cherry drew blood on a number of occasions.

Cherry was a fitness fanatic.  She spent hours of running each day on her wheel. (We boys of the Rat Collective have a wheel in our cage, too. We pulled it off the wall and use it as a bed. We use pretty much everything as a bed.) She preferred to eat vegetables and fruit to bread, pasta or weetbix. Because of this, she was a very slim, fit, rat.

The Rat Collective will long miss our fallen comrade.

Rupert Rat
Rat Collective Organiser