|"Politics is ruff, but Bumps can handle it." - Mr Woof|
Have you all been out to the garden for your morning wee yet? There were all sorts of exciting smells out there when I went for mine. (Oh, Mum says it's not polite to talk about wees. Sorry.)
Yesterday, Mr Bumpy announced that he is going to run for Prime Minister.
I know Bumps and I have had our differences in the past, but I'm really proud of him for doing this.
"Of course you are." - Mr Bumpy.
I mean being Prime Minister is really hard work. I hadn't known Bumps was willing to work so hard and make all the sacrifices involved.
"Work? Sacrifices?" - Mr Bumpy.
"Twit." - Fang Budgie.
There's no napping while Parliament sits, you know. And Bumps just loves his 375 naps a day.
"No naps?" - Mr Bumpy.
And all that travel. Have you seen Ms Gillard on the news? She's always travelling somewhere to tell them how awesome Australia is. She must have to get so many needles - even humans get needles to go overseas. And Bumps hates needles as much as I do.
"Needles?" - Mr Bumpy.
And of course, needles mean trips to the V-E-T, so Bumps will spend half his life with a thermometer under his tail!
And some of those trips mean all day in a plane. Bumps hates the cat-box so much, but of course he won't fit human seat belts in the plane, so he's going to spend so much time in the cat-box.
"The WHAT!???!!!" - Mr Bumpy.
And all of that because he loves Australia so much. I am so proud of our Mr Bumpy right now. All those years he's been carrying on with his half-baked world domination plans, I thought he just wanted power. Now I realise he just wants the chance to serve the people.
"A chance to WHAT!!???!!!!" - Mr Bumpy.
And he's already got an election campaign going over on Twitter. Some of his minions have been recruiting voters, and some have even agreed to join his party.
Well, good on him. He's got my vote. Oh, wait. I'm a dog. I can't vote. Never mind. Think I'll go take a nap. I'm not a politician, you see. I've got all the time in the world to nap.
Well, licks and tail wags,
I hope we meet again soon.