Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Vote For Mr Bumpy

"I did not sleep with that dog." - Mr Presidential Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

You might already know this, but humans regularly have these things called "elections".

We had an election in our state earlier this year, and there's one happening over in America today.

The point of elections is to make people who are otherwise friends say rude words to each other, unfriend each other on social media, and just generally be miserable.

In fact, even after the election, my humans have been known to continue using rude words.

Elections are supposed to be about finding someone who can run things.  The problem is that there's always a limited choice.  It's only ever a choice of humans. Well, you see where the problem is, don't you?

After the election, some people are happy because they got the person they wanted, and the others are unhappy.  Then the person elected does stuff, and then everyone's unhappy because they always do things that annoy someone. So by the time they reach the end of the time they've been elected for, they've upset just about everyone.

The reason for all of this? As I said, they're humans! They're always trying to do things and change things, and the more they do and change the more they mess things up.

So for that reason, I'm nominating in the next Federal election. I'm going to run as Prime Minister.  I think that with a choice of Ms Gillard, Mr Abbott or me, most everyone would choose me. To start with, I'm far more attractive than either of them. I've never been accused of sexism or of stabbing anyone in the back. If I don't like anyone, I say straight up I don't like them, so I'm completely honest. (By the way, Mr Woof, I don't like you.)

Me? What did I do? - Mr Woof, doggsbody.

I also have better policies than they do.  I believe in fair distribution of cream, careful management of the wild Friskies population and the legalisation of medical catnip. Although the very first thing I will do when I'm elected is to make being a flea or tick illegal. That will do away with the need for flea and tick treatments, and make life much better for everyone.

Of course, until I run for parliament, you'll have to put up with the human candidates. Good luck with that.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.


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