Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Understanding Humans: Selfishness

"Humans don't like to share their coffee."
- Mr Bumpy, Bloggercat
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

For those of you interested in knowing more about your humans, I am going to do a series of classes on "Understanding Humans".  This is the first lesson, "Selfishness."

Humans are the most selfish animals ever created. If you doubt this, just look at this list of quotes from the humans in my house that I collected in just one day:

  • Bumpy, that's my food, yours is in your dish.
  • Bumpy, that's my coffee, you don't want it.
  • Bumpy, don't kill things under my bed.
  • Bumpy, get your claws out of my dog.
  • Bumpy, let go of my hand.
  • Oh Bumpy, don't put hair all over my clean clothes.
  • Bumpy leave my rat alone.
  • Bumpy, stop tearing up my papers.
  • Bumpy, get out of my way, this knife's sharp.
  • Bumpy, get out from under my feet.
  • Bumpy, I'm busy, I haven't got time for you now.
  • Please Bumpy, get your butt out of my face.
  • Bumpy, these are for me. You don't even like strawberries.
  • Bumpy, don't drink out of my cup.
  • Bumpy, get out of my wardrobe.
  • Bumpy, can you leave some space for Woof and me in the bed?
  • Can I at least go to the toilet alone?
  • I have to open the can before you can have it.
  • Why is there a dead mouse in my shoe?
  • Why is there a cat in my backpack?
  • It's OK if you sit on me, but don't dig your claws into my leg.
  • I have to leave you. I can't buy Friskies if I don't go to the shop.
So, you can see for yourself. Humans think everything belongs to them, and everything is about them. And it's not just my humans, all humans are like this.  

They're deluded of course.  In reality, everything belongs to the cat and is about the cat, in this case, me. 

Well, I hope this has helped you to understand your humans a little better.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain, 
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

1 comment:

  1. MOL so true Mr. Bumpy ... I have one to add to your list
    "Sigh, I have to clean up your furballs".


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