Thursday, 29 November 2012

Understanding Humans: Usefulness

"Humans make comfortable cat beds."
- Mr Bumpy, Bloggercat.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Next in our course on "Understanding Humans" we come to the reason why any cat would bother to keep humans - their uses.

So without further ado, let's look at some of the things humans are useful for:

  • Can openers.  Humans are very good at opening cans of stinky fish.
  • Box openers. Humans can also open boxes of Friskies.
  • Carton openers. Humans open cartons of lactose-free cream.
  • Waiters.  Humans are very good at serving cat foods and drinks and treats.
  • Taps. Humans have thumbs, so they can turn on taps to fill our water bowls.
  • Cat beds. Humans make comfortable cat beds. They are also cat pillows, and sometimes cat transport devices.
  • Entertainment. Humans are very good at stroking and scratching and throwing jingle balls. The only problem is that sometimes they want to stroke, scratch or throw jingle balls when the cat has more important things to do.
  • Vantage point.  The height of humans means you can climb them (or have a well-trained one lift you up) so you can see further or from a different angle.
  • Scratching post or chew toy. For some reason humans seem to object to being used for these purposes, but they are eminently suitable.
  • Gardeners. Humans can plant and care for catnip. (Although they do insist on putting water on it, which makes it most uncomfortable for rolling in.)
  • Cleaners.  Humans are very good at cleaning and changing litter. 
  • Warmth.  When it's very cold, cuddling up to a human can help you keep warm.
  • Protection. Believe it or not, humans can be fierce.  Once, when a whole flock of those wretched mina birds were dive-bombing Mr Woof and me, Mum ran out with a broom and chased them off. (Of course, most of the time she's protecting Mr Woof from me, which isn't of any use whatsoever.)
  • Company. Even cats get lonely at times. After all, no cat is an island.  Sometimes even an inferior animal like a human can make us feel less alone in the world.
So as you can see, despite all their drawbacks, there is a definite advantage to owning a human, or perhaps even two or three of them. 

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

1 comment:

  1. Adore the pic of you and your Mum! and think you have covered all the points why I love my huMum so much ... another brilliant bloggy!


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