Mum says if we have an apo-cat-lypse tonight it will probably have something to do with me.
I bet you're asking what all this is about. Well, the Mayan calendar ends tonight at 9.11pm our time, according to the local ABC radio station.
Most people, when their calendar ends, go out and get a new one. But there's no Mayans left to get them a new one, so some people think that means the world's going to end. Tonight. At 9.11pm our time.
Mr 18 says it's OK, we've got at least until the 2030s, because his Google calendar goes that far.
Apparently the end of the world is called an apo-cat-lypse, because it's going to involve lots of cats.
Mum says I'm guaranteed to be the ringleader. She says I break so many other things, I'm likely go and break the whole planet.
You're a disaster on four paws. My world ended when you arrived. - Mr Woof, Doggsbody.
Nobody wants the opinion of a stinky old dog.
So, anyway, I've decided not to make an apo-cat-lypse happen tonight. I still want to become Prime Minister, and I can't do that if the world ends. And besides, I do want to move to the new flat with the special cat door.
Guess what I heard about the new flat? There's a dog the same size as me who lives upstairs. I'm going to have a new canine friend, and you're going to be outnumbered. - Mr Woof.
A what? Oh, that just can't be true. You're making it all up.
So, just to confirm, I have cancelled the apo-cat-lypse, and the world will still be here in the morning.
Which means that if you don't have a new calendar yet, it would be a good idea to get one. (My calendar is still for sale if you want it.)
Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
Supreme Feline Overlord.