Friday, 7 December 2012

Understanding Humans: Management

"I make a great show of enjoying attention first thing
in the morning." - Mr Bumpy, Bloggercat.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Lately I've been giving you lessons on understanding humans.  Now we come to the all-important lesson, the reason why you want to understand your human - how to manage them.

Humans, you may have realised as you read the previous lessons, are unique in the animal kingdom.

They are an evolutionary disaster, which ought not to be able to survive, and yet somehow they do, and they have their purposes. Somehow, they seem to be deluded into thinking they are the dominant species, but we can use that to our advantage when we want things from them.

For example, I regularly wake Mum up an hour or so before the alarm.  She believes this is because I particularly want cuddles and strokes.  And I make a great show of enjoying attention first thing in the morning.
"It means I get the bed to myself sooner."
- Mr Bumpy, Bloggercat.

The "affection" is a ruse.  It distracts her from the real reason I woke her up.  Waking her before the alarm means that she gets out of bed before the alarm - it means that I get the bed to myself sooner.

Humans like to think that we love them.  So we can get almost anything we want from them by acting loving.

I'm good at it, but the absolute best is Mr Woof. He's always acting as if he's totally devoted to the humans.

"I do love our humans! They're very good humans." - Mr Woof, Doggsbody.

Mr Woof manages to get humans to carry him around, to sit outside and keep him company when he wants to lie in the sun, to always fuss about whether he's warm enough or cool enough.  All because he's old, and he always stays right next to them.

So the big lesson here is: act like you love your humans very much and you can get pretty much anything you want from them.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Hello Everyone,

As the Christmas Amabassador for the Lupus Business Directory, can I suggest you take a look at the directory for your Christmas Gift shopping?

There's some awesome gift ideas there, things the humans in your life will love - and by buying from these businesses, you help people like my Mum who have extra costs because they're sick, but can't work regular jobs so much.

Licks and tail wags,
Mr Santa Woof,
Christmas Doggsbody.

1 comment:

  1. You're a very good teacher ! I hope that young and unexperienced kitties follow and learn your lessons. Loupi on Mum's account


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