Saturday, 27 October 2012

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Purrfect Christmas Gifts

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

As you know, I'm a bloggercat, a writer, and a model. I'm such a multi-talented cat, and that's without being Supreme Feline Overlord.

So, I thought I'd share with you some great Christmas gift ideas that feature my amazing talents.

In my Habits of Effective Cats Calendar, I share some of my great wisdom about how to be a highly effective cat, as well as some very attractive photos of me. (There's also a couple of Mr Woof and one of Montgomery Rat, which I think were in there by accident.)
It's available here.



Do you love my Cat-it-orials?
Of course you do.
You can get the best of the first year of Cat-it-orials in book form.
It's available in paperback here.
It's also available in Kindle Edition here.




Well those are my books.  Next are my teeshirts, mugs and baby clothes.  You can find them at Iris' Shirt Shop.  The designs shown are all on mugs, teeshirts, and sometimes other items as well.


Nap Time mug.






Surrealist Picatso baby singlet.  
(All the Picatso designs come with a direct quote from me on the back.)



Cubist Picatso Ladies' teeshirt







Blue Picatso Ladies' teeshirt




Silky Terrier Stubby Cooler (featuring Mr Woof)





Homework, Oh RATS! Kids' Rashi (featuring Montgomery Rat on the computer.)





I see Montgomery and Mr Woof sneaked into the clothing line as well. Despite that, it's well worth a look at the Shirt Shop some time.

Mum insists that I advertise her pet project at this point.  She suggests you go to her Lupus Business Directory, and think about buying some of your Christmas presents from someone with a chronic illness. As well as getting cool presents, you can help someone who really needs it.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord.


Monday, 15 October 2012

Assault!

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I have to tell you a crime was committed against me today.

(What, another one? - Rupert Rat.)

I was assaulted with a deadly weapon!

It was such a shock.  Well, let me tell you the story from the beginning.

I was a very busy cat today.

I spent some time on the phone. I didn't ask Mum or anyone else to make my calls for me.

On the phone.

I was thirsty after that, so I got a drink of water for myself, instead of bothering Mum to get one for me.
Getting a drink.

And then, because Mum sometimes finds me a bothersome cat (although I can't imagine why), I very carefully put myself away on the shelf.
Put away neatly.
Well, I don't always behave like this, but Mum's had a bad week, so I decided to be an extra-helpful cat for a while.  I even put my world domination plans on hold for a few days.

You would think Mum would really appreciate this kind of consideration. You would be wrong.

While Mr Woof and I were both having our afternoon naps, Mum did the unthinkable.  She sneaked up on us both, and put flea treatment on us!

It was a horrible shock to wake up with wet flea treatment being squeezed on to the back of my neck. I could not believe she would attack me like that, especially with such a horrible weapon, while I was asleep.  And after I'd been so considerate of her.

This just goes to show you how incredibly ungrateful humans can be.

The revolution can't come soon enough.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Friday, 12 October 2012

Hey, Hey Windy Day Don't Blow the Cat Away

Stuck inside.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I am quite a disgruntled cat today.

(When is he ever a "gruntled" cat? - Rupert Rat.)

You see, it is spring here in Brisbane, and I ought to be out enjoying the garden.

In spring, things actually start to grow, and I can be a big, fearsome jungle cat out in the garden.


Fearsome jungle cat.

(Fearsome? - Chester Rat.)

(Fearsome. He's scary. - Mr Woof, Doggsbody.)

Will you all be quiet?

When I went outside to be a jungle cat today, I found the wind was blowing, cold and hard, like the autumn winds we get here.

Well, I came back inside and complained to Mum, and tried to get her to fix it.

(Twit - Fang Budgie.)

I even offered her a drop of my cream in return for fixing the problem.

(Cheap - Sapphire Budgie.)

She picked me up and hugged me!  How undignified is that.  And she said she couldn't turn off the wind.

Well I got free from her, and went and asked Mr 18 and Miss 21 both.  They both said they couldn't stop the wind for me.

Sometimes I wonder why I keep humans. They're absolutely no use for anything.

Anyway, it's so windy outside, I'm afraid I'd blow away. So I'm stuck inside. With the humans, and with all the silly animals who allegedly "work" for me. Not that I see any work being done around here.

I've found a nice seat at the table, although for some reason Mum's complaining about me taking it right now.  So I guess, I'll just make the most of my day in.

Until we meet again in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Friday, 5 October 2012

My New Book

Purrrrs everyone - I'm not only a bloggercat and a model, now I'm a published author as well.

Cat-it-orial is a book of the best of my first year of cat-it-orials.

You can get it in Kindle edition on Amazon here..

Or you can get the print version (along with the print version of my calendar) here.

Don't worry that both those places seem to think Mum wrote the book. We know better.


Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Cream

Look! Cream in the fridge with my name on it!

(If you don't know what this is about read my cat-it-orial from earlier today.)

Purrrrrrrr everyone!
Mr Bumpy.


O Happy Day!

Mr Bumpy's Calendar
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I'm a very happy cat today.

I'm happy for two reasons.

The first is that someone actually bought a copy of my calendar. Now, what is so good about this is that Mum promised me that if I sold even one calendar, she would buy me a tub of cream just for me.  Since a copy has sold, she's buying cream just for me when she goes to the shops today!

And then, just when it seemed today couldn't get any better, it did!  Mr Woof got in trouble!  He really got in trouble. He got called a "bad dog" and even got sprayed with the water bottle, twice.

Mr Woof was a "bad dog".
What he was doing to get in trouble is just great.  He kept barking at The Rat Collective.

Mum was mad because she and Mr 18 both have headaches, and Mr Woof was being loud enough to annoy the neighbours, as well as bothering The Rat Collective while they were trying to sleep.

So Mr Woof was in trouble, and The Rat Collective was uncomfortable, all at once!  I told you it was a great day. (And they can't blame me for any of it.)

Well, I'm off now, got to rest up - I've got a lot of cream-eating to do when Mum gets back from the shops.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Monday, 1 October 2012

We Have A Winner


The winner of the Caption Contest was BJ, who said: "So that's a Pie and a cuppa for lunch".  Watch your email BJ, there's a shirt shop voucher on the way to you.

The other entries were:


  • Well this new self-service process couldn't be more black and white. BJ
  • Now where did I leave my bill? BJ
  • Hidden! You cannot see me! Claire
  • Collingwood's Pies drinking from the cup of desperation! JessieJaney
  • Yes!!! Tequila with the worm. Anonymous
  • Just my luck the cat got the cream. Ken Wilkinson. 

The Great Friskies Caper

Rupert Rat - doesn't he look guilty?
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I have to report a heinous crime - the kidnapping, or or theft or misappropriation or something - of three of my Friskies.

I can practically hear you gasp at the horror of it.  I still feel a little faint myself, talking about it.  The worst part of this is that I was betrayed, not only by the Rat Collective (because I expect them to be underhanded and generally objectionable), but also by Mum! 

Believe it or not, Mum was part of the crime of the century!

Oh, I know, I'm not making any sense at the moment, but I'm just so distressed.

So here's the story from the start.

The Rat Collective's cage has been moved.  (Yes, they live in a cage, I'd never get any work out of them if they were free to wander off wherever they wanted. I'm a very sensible employer.)

The whole Rat Collective, sleeping on the job.
Front to back: Montgomery, Chester and Rupert.
They used to be fairly well out of my way, but now they're right where everyone walks past them constantly.  And they're taking advantage of it.  Every time they see a human, they beg for a treat.

Mum always gives in.  Usually she gives them a peanut or a pumpkin seed. Once she gave them some squashed strawberries, Rupert and Chester ate theirs, and Montgomery rolled on his. Mum was very apologetic as Miss 21 pulled Monty out of the cage to wash him.

So Mum now only gives them things that won't make Montgomery sticky.

Now, we get to the horrible crime.  Mum was walking past with a box of my Friskies, and the whole Rat Collective were doing their begging act - and she gave them each one of my Friskies! Rats ate three of my Friskies! Can you believe it?

Oh dear, I'm so traumatised,  I need to go for a nap.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord.



Comrades,

Can you keep a secret?

Don't tell Bumps, because you know how he gets.  

When Bumpy's not looking Mr Woof sneaks Friskies straight out of his bowl.   

But it's our secret. If Bumps knew, he'd be horrible to poor old Woof, and would probably hurt him.

Rupert Rat,
And The Rat Collective.