Friday, 22 February 2013

Feline Pawty Media Release #1

Australia's First Non-human Political Party 
Begins its Federal Election Campaign

The latest force in Australian politics is creating history with everything it does.

Last night, the Feline Pawty announced the first six non-human candidates for an Australian Federal Election.

Party Leader, and candidate for Lilley, Mr Bumpy said he had hopes of fielding candidates in all 150 electorates, and having been able to endorse six candidates in the first night of preselection was an excellent start.

He said he was sure there were enough cats and honorary cats (other non-humans who support cat-related issues) in Australia who felt strongly about feline issues to be able to field a set of strong candidates with a good chance of winning the election and making him Prime Minispurr.

The Pawty's primary policies are:

  1. Free availability of catnip (the shop shouldn't be "sold out" of nip plants)
  2. Getting catnip-flavoured Temptations treats in Australia
  3. Respite care for elderly dogs who fret when their humans are out (so cats don't have to deal with them)
  4. Homelessness - no-one should have to be feral, when there are enough humans in Australia for every cat to own one. In addition all cats should have access to sufficient Friskies, stinky fish and clean drinking water, clean litter, and treats occasionally.
  5. Making Chasing Jingle Balls and Olympic even
  6. Education and training for all humans to make them better servants to cats.
  7. Naps are essential
"One of the unique things about the Feline Pawty, is that our candidates are free to develop their own policies as well, as long as they agree to support the Pawty's primary policies." Mr Bumpy said. "We're not afraid to spell out our policies up-front, not like certain human politicians who say they'll have policies about anything and everything, but really seem to just have a policy of not having a policy."

Media contact: 
Mr Woof, 

Feline Pawty Candidates to date:

State         Seat        Candidate
NSW        Berowra  Gemma
NSW        Sydney    Hoummous
Qld           Griffith     Captain Worm-Sparrow
Qld           Lilley        Mr Bumpy
SA            Adelaide  Dugal 
Vic           Goldstein  Jessie

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