Friday, 29 March 2013

Getting My Own Way

"Humans need to know who's boss"
Mr Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

As you know, I like to get my own way.

For example, the humans think I don't need to go outside any more because I have my fortress that I can go out to any time.  So they won't actually open a door for me.

But I still get out when I really want to. I've developed a technique.

When Mr Woof asks to go out, I back up from the doorway a fair bit.  (I need a good runway, and I want the humans to think I'm not trying to leave or they'll try to catch me.)  This works best when Mr Woof wants a wee in the middle of the night and Mum's only half awake.

Mr Woof always stands in the middle of the doorway for a little while trying to decide if he really, really wants to go outside after all.

While he's doing that, I have my run-up, launch and fly over the top of him and I'm free. From there it's easy. No human can catch me if I don't want to be caught.

It's an important thing, making sure I can do whatever I like.  Humans need to know who's boss. They can't just be left to think they're in charge.

Sometimes they have to be shown that their rules don't mean anything. And sometimes, they need to be walked over, just in case they get above themselves.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Thursday, 28 March 2013

Vote For Bumpy

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,
This is the blog you want to vote for - Mr Bumpy.

You may have noticed recently the Best Australian Blogs competition logo on the right-hand column of this blog.  Well, nominations for the competition have closed now, and the voting has begun for the People's Choice award.

You can vote for Mr Bumpy Cat by clicking on the Vote For Me now badge on the right-hand column, or by clicking here.  You can only vote once, but you can vote for more than one blog when you vote that one time. (You don't have to be in Australia to vote.)

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

The Liebster Award

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Colonel Pillster from Pillster's Pages recently gave me the Liebster Award.  I was a little hesitant about accepting it because, well I don't want to be seen to be too close to the military in my Prime Minispurrial campaign.  But then I realised, I deserve this award, so I should accept it.

I have to answer 11 questions set by the person who gave me the award, link back to his page, which I did above, give the award to 11 more bloggers, and ask them another 11 questions.  That sounds like a lot of work, doesn't it?

What happened to just receiving an award, giving a boring speech thanking everyone else for me being amazing and walking off?

Oh well, here goes.

The Colonel's 11 questions, and my answers, are:

  1. If you could become your favourite movie star, who would you want to be and why? I have never, ever wanted to be anything other than me.
  2. Have you ever bitten your hooman and, if so, why did you do it? Regularly.  If she's late with the food, I take a bite and say, "feed me now or I'll eat you."
  3. Complete the sentence “If I ruled the world the first thing I would do is …” What do you mean "if"?  I'm the Supreme Feline Overlord, and you will grovel before me.
  4. Which part of you do you most like your hooman(s) to scratch and tickle? I don't like to be scratched and tickled, unless I'm in the mood for it. The mood only lasts a minute or two, and if you don't stop as soon as I stop feeling like being handled, I will bite. I do like to climb, sit and lie on humans, but they should keep their hands to themselves.
  5. How did you come to live with your hoomans? I got them from a pet shop.
  6. Have you ever seen the movie “Cats and Dogs” and, if so, who was your favourite character in it? I rather like the cat who's into world domination.  He's a bit like me, but I'm smarter and have better minions.
  7. What is your relationship with your vet (stabbyperson) like? I object to the cold thermometer you-know-where, but otherwise he's OK.  I've climbed up his arm, and walked around his shoulders.  He's OK for a human.
  8. Which part of you do you least like your hooman(s) to scratch and tickle? Anywhere when I'm not in the mood.
  9. What’s your favourite colour? Colour? You mean black or white?  I have both. 
  10. Have you ever seen your hooman(s) doing anything that he/she/they wouldn’t want anyone else to know about? Of course. I see everything.
  11. (He he!) What was it that you saw? Send me two packs of Temptations, and I'll tell you all about it.

So who are the 11 bloggers I'm giving the Award to?

  1. Nerissa at  Nerissa's Life.   (He's probably already got one, but he won't mind getting it again.  He loves bling.)
  2. Gemma at Gemma's Little Gems.  
  3. Jessie at Jessie and Jane.
  4. Billy at Billy the Pig.
  5. Loupi at Swiss Cat's Ideas.
  6. Dugal and friends at Three Aussie Cats.
  7. Viiru at Cat's Life.
  8. CFB at Cat Food Breath.
  9. Janis at Janice Felidae.
  10. Lil at Lil's Cat World.
  11. Smokey at Smokey the Purring Cat  (which isn't really a blog, but Colonel Pillster gave some of his awards to Twitter accounts instead of blogs, so I'm not doing too badly.)
Now, I have to invent 11 questions for these honoured recipients.  (If I had to work for my award, they should work for theirs as well.)
  1. Why do you blog?
  2. If you could be spokescat (or guinea pig or dog) for any product, company, or cause, what would it be? 
  3. Why?
  4. What's your human's most annoying habit?
  5. What would your human say is your most annoying habit?
  6. If you could be a human for a day, what would you do?
  7. What one thing do you wish someone would invent?
  8. What's your favourite toy?
  9. What's your favourite place to nap?
  10. If it were up to you, what would be the penalty for the crime of being a flea?
  11. If you were to have a pawty, what would the cake be made out of?

Well, that's a lot of work just to accept an award. But I've done it. I do deserve an award after all.  I am just such an awesome cat.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain.

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Rebel Yowl

Mr Bumpy sings:
Give me stinky fish, murrr, murrr, murrr - Mr Bumpy.

It's time you fed me dinner
I'm starving on the floor.
My Friskies dish is empty
there isn't any more.
I've got no treats left 
they all got eaten before.
And if I don't get fed now

I'll bite and scratch because ...

When it's six pm I cry murrr murrr murrr
With a rebel yowl I cry murrr murrr murrr
Where's my stinky fish? I cry murrr murrr murrrr
murrr murrr murrr

Monday, 25 March 2013

Dog Tired

"Think I'll just have another nap."
- Mr Woof, Doggsbody.
Hello Everyone,

How was your weekend?  Mine was good, except I got a bit worn out.

I watched some movies with Mum, and ate some treats and all those good things.

And I went for a really big walkie.

I went with Mr 19 and Mum, and my friend Nelson who lives upstairs and three of his humans. We went all the way to the post box up the street and back. Mum says I walked almost two whole blocks each way.

I walked quite fast, as well. I almost kept up with the others for a fair bit of the way.  But then we came to some really, really long grass.  It was higher than Mum's ankle!  Well, even if I didn't have a bad leg, I have really short legs, and that really long grass was like a jungle.

I stopped at the edge of it as if it was a solid wall. Mr 19 laughed at me. Mum told the others to go on without us, and we would wait for them where we were and all go home together.

But I'm a tougher dog than that.  I thought about it for a while, and then valiantly started to push my way through that terrible long grass.

It was slow, hard work, but I did it.

And after we got there, we had to come all the way home.

Well, last night, when Mum was looking for me to put me to bed, she found I was already there, sound asleep.  She got me up this morning to go out for my er morning time out on the lawn. As soon as I was back inside, I asked to be picked up on to the couch and I went back to sleep.

It's lunchtime now, but I think when I've written this cat-it-orial, and sneaked a couple of Bumpy's Friskies, I'll probably go back to sleep again.

It was a really good weekend, but today's even better - because I can sleep and no-one's wanting me to do anything else. (When you get to be as old as I am, you'll understand how important that is.)

Hope you're all having a good day too,
Licks and tail wags,
Mr Woof,

Saturday, 23 March 2013

The Art of Napping

"Naps on a stolen bed, such as Mr Woof's,
are always good." - Mr Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

It's Caturday, so I thought I'd give you a break from all the politics, and do something to relax.

Let's talk naps.

Cats need numerous naps throughout the day. Every one of them is important.

Firstly, there are meal-time-based naps:

  • The pre-breakfast nap, is the one that sets the cat up for the day. If it's a good nap, it's going to be a good day.
  • The post-breakfast-pre-morning tea nap is also very important, as it helps digest breakfast, and lulls the dog into a false sense of security thinking he's safe from attack.
  • Then there's the post-morning-tea-pre-lunch nap.  I can't possibly miss that one. 
  • Of course the post-lunch-pre-afternoon-tea nap is vital.
  • And there's the post-after-noon-tea-pre-dinner-nap.
  • Then the post-dinner-pre-bed-time nap.
Humans, being human and therefore not very bright, think those are enough naps, and don't believe it's possible to fit any more in a day at all.  That's not true.

After the meal-time-based naps, a cat has to have all the positional naps.
  • There's the in-the-hallway-so-everyone-trips-over-you nap. That's always amusing.
  • Stolen-bed naps, such as naps on Mr Woof's beds, are always very pleasurable, especially if the owner of the bed actually wanted it.
  • The stretched-right-across-the-human's-bed nap is very good as well.
  • Of course the curled-up-on-the-human nap is vital for keeping humans aware of who is in charge.
  • There must be at least one outside (my fortress counts as outside) nap in a day, preferably two or three.
  • And the unexpected-place nap is often quite effective.  It's always entertaining to see the humans' reactions when they open a cupboard and a cat suddenly wakes and jumps at them.
  • I also enjoy the how-does-he-do-that nap, lying in entirely improbable positions, or hanging halfway off something. 
  • I'm not so keen on the snore-snore-thunk nap, where I slide off the bed or whatever I'm on and land unceremoniously on the floor.
  • And there's the I-hope-you-feel-guilty nap, taken in front of an empty food bowl.  This doesn't seem to have the desired effect for me as Mum just says, "Well, you'll have to talk to whoever ate the Friskies." 
  • I love the inconvenience-the-human nap, where, when a human gets up for a drink or whatever, I dive into the just-vacated seat and fall asleep before the human returns to reclaim it.
  • I mustn't forget to mention the look-I'm-a-human nap. This requires getting under the covers on the human's bed and sleeping with just my head on the pillow.
Well, that's about it for me.  I must go and have my all-important 67th nap of the day.  I think it will be an in-the-laundry-basket nap. Enjoy your Caturday everyone.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Friday, 22 March 2013

World Domination

"I'm busy at the desk, working on my
master plan." - Mr Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

After yesterday's blog post, someone from Canada asked on my Facebook page if I could become Prime Minispurr of Canada as well as Australia.

So let me reassure all my overseas minions, world domination is still very much on my to-do list.

Becoming Prime Minispurr of Australia is just a step on the way.

Even as I write this, I'm hard at work on my master plan.

So here's my to-do list, for those who are worried they might miss out.

  • Rule the house - done
  • Rule Australia - in progress
  • Rule World - in planning stages
I hope this sets all minions' minds at rest, wherever in the world they are.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggopshere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Thursday, 21 March 2013

Another Reason to Vote Feline

"I've been on the couch all day, watching the news,"
- Mr Bumpy
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Well, hasn't it been an interesting day in Australian politics?

Ms Gillard's party hasn't been a fun one for a little while, and there's been rumours about a plan by Mr Rudd to overthrow her the same way she overthrew Mr Rudd shortly before the last election.

Today, Labor Party member Mr Crean insisted Ms Gillard have a vote for the leadership again.  Ms Gillard did as he demanded. But Mr Rudd refused to run against her, because he'd said he'd given his word he wouldn't.

Well, hopefully, the fuss is all over for a while.

But it might not be.  After all, they are humans.  And if you think the other big human party is any better, remember that before Mr Abbott took over, they had a time when they seemed to have a new leader once or twice a week - everyone had a turn.

When you vote for the Feline Pawty, you'll know exactly what you're getting.  I'm the Supreme Feline Overlord.  The whole Pawty knows that.  When we win the election, I'll be Prime Minispurr, and there won't be any leadership challenges.  You'll keep the Prime Minispurr you elect for the whole term of the Government.

And we're far cuter than any of the human politicians.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Lessons in Being a Feline Overlord

The bed belongs to you - leave very little space
for the human.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Over at Sometimes, it is Lupus, Mum often joins in those "let's all post on the same topic" things bloggers do together.  Usually, she's doing something about lupus or human health, so I'm not especially interested, but today she's joining in a project for Problogger to write a "how-to" post. Well, I thought, I could join in with that.  I know how to do lots of very important things.

So today, I'm going to tell all you cats out there how to be Feline Overlords.  Not quite like me, because I'm the Supreme Feline Overlord, but you can be effective Overlords in your own home.

Ways to become a Feline Overlord:

  1. Respond only to sounds that benefit you. That means you come running when you hear a can opener or a treat packet being opened.  Do not respond when your human is calling you to come inside at lock-up time.
  2. The bed belongs to you.  Leave as little space as possible for the human.
  3. You decide your feeding time. Humans will want to feed you when they feel like it.  Don't accept that. If you feel like eating, yowl at your empty dish. Disrupt whatever the human is doing.  If all else fails, bite the human and threaten to eat him/her if you don't get something else to eat immediately.
  4. If you want to play with it, it's a cat toy.  It doesn't matter what "it" is. Did the curtain move with the breeze? It's a cat toy. Your human's knitting? The yarn is a cat toy. Your human's playing a computer game? The keyboard's a cat-toy (and so is his/her hand.)
  5. Any pre-warmed seat is yours.  It doesn't matter if the human only intended to get up for a couple of minutes. You take the seat, and you don't give it up when the human returns.
Of course, those are just a few tips to get you started.  I might do another post later with an advanced lesson. Or not. I'll do whatever I feel like.  I'm the Supreme Feline Overlord, after all.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere, 
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
FEline Pawty Prime MInispurrial Candidate.

Monday, 18 March 2013

Mr Bumpy, I Choose You!

"I don't think I've been watching
too much TV" - Mr Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Mum says I've been watching too much television.

I don't know why she says that.  I was watching Mr 19's new DVDs with him this afternoon, while Mum and Mr Woof went for a walk. It was that show where the animals leap out of balls and battle each other. They get rewards for winning the battles, and their humans are really proud of them.

I was watching all those creatures having so much fun battling, and I thought, "I could do that."

So when Mum and Mr Woof walked through the door, I leapt as if I was being launched from a one of those balls, caught my front paws around Mr Woof's neck, dug in my claws, sank my teeth into his ear, and knocked him over into a crocodile-style death roll.

It was a great move.  On the DVD it would have won the battle.

But Mum wasn't happy.

She told me I had been watching far too much tv and to leave Mr Woof alone.

I said, "Don't I get a badge for that? Or at least a treat?"

But for some reason, Mum wouldn't give me any reward at all, despite my awesome battling skills.

Mum is just so unreasonable sometimes.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate

Sunday, 17 March 2013

Care of Humans

Inspecting the housework.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I know we cats are very keen on making sure our humans obey us and provide our food, change our litter, trays and everything.

But did you ever stop to think that humans need us to care for them as well?

Here are some of the things I do to take care of my humans:

Make sure they get up on time.

The easiest way to do this is to wake them up before the alarm (an hour or two before the alarm is usually sufficient.) Humans have things to do during the day and they might miss something important like feeding the cat if they slept in too late.

Supervise their work, especially when it involves food.

I have lots of good vantage points for watching and supervision.  I also inspect their work when they've done it to make sure it's done adequately, and  show them things they need to do like if they've left my dishes in the sink to be washed, or empty when they need to be filled.

Give them activities to do to keep their minds and bodies active.

I do things like shredding a magazine for Mum to pick up all the pieces, leave jingle balls around so the humans have to watch where they walk and be agile enough to go around them. And I insist that Mr 19 give me brushies regularly, which is very good for his eye-hand co-ordination.  Getting under humans' feet when they walk also helps with their agility and co-ordination. I also give them puzzles to work out, like "where did that ribbon in the hallway come from?" or "how did he get hold of that?" Mr Woof helps out with this and goes walkies with Mum every day as well, but that's not as important as the things I do to care for her.

Give them some affection.

Humans need reassurance that you really care for them, whether you really do or not.  Occasionally give them some cuddles or smooches. Don't do this too often, or they won't work so hard to please you. But once in a while, let them know they're doing OK.

Well, I hope this helps you to care for your humans.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial candidate.

Friday, 15 March 2013

Can't Lose With a Cool Teeshirt

We need an awesome campaign teeshirt.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I have come up with a great campaign plus for the Feline Pawty.

If you remember back to 2007, when the Labor Party won the federal election easily, there was one thing that really won the election for them.

Sure, there were lots of things going on politically, and Mr Howard had told the nation that refugees were throwing their children overboard from boats when they were doing no such thing at all, and people were afraid that that Mr Howard's eyebrows were becoming self-aware and would take over the government at any time, and all sorts of things like that....

But there was one thing that really, more than anything else, was the really cool "Kevin 07" teeshirts the Labor Party had.  All the Labor politicians were seen wearing them.  And lots of other people were too.

With that in mind, I've decided that one thing we really must do is have a campaign teeshirt for the Feline Pawty.

I ordered Mum to make them.  On the back is "....because cats could run the country better than politicians."

It's not quite as catchy as "Kevin 07", but "Bumpy 13"  didn't sound so catchy either.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Tuesday, 12 March 2013


Enjoying my freedom yesterday.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I have to say that my humans are being quite unreasonable.

They had decided to allow me outside during the day, and, in fact, simply left the door open. I was free all through the daylight hours yesterday, until early evening.

That's when I brought a friend home.

It was a blue-tongued lizard I met in the garden.

Mum usually objects to me bringing friends like this home, but Mum was out. I figured Mr 19 loves me so much, he'd let me bring home a lizard.

I figured wrong.

Mr 19 separated me and the lizard, shut me in the bathroom and chased the lizard around the house until he caught it eventually and put it outside.

Then he said I wasn't ever going out (except to my fortress) again.

Well, I think that's completely unfair.  I hadn't planned to eat the lizard. You believe me, don't you?  For some reason my humans don't believe it. They really are unreasonable like that.

So this morning, I bit Mr Woof's ears several times and made him cry. I had to do something to express my outrage at the injustice, didn't I?

Until next time we meet in the bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Sunday, 10 March 2013

Communications and the Internet

Captain Worm-Sparrow
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Cats love the internet. In fact, the definition of the internet is "a series of tubes, filled with cats".

So looking after the internet will be very important for a Feline Pawty Government.

Now, the current government is working on a thing called an NBN, which means fast, reliable internet.(Or that's what Mr 19 tells me, because he's learning all about internet at his IT course.)  The current opposition says that if they get into power they will stop work on the NBN and develop their own alternative, which basically means just using what we've already got, which was designed for telephones before the internet existed.

Well, for us felines, having a good internet is very important.

And there's another group that love the internet as well, that's pirates. Mr 19 tells me there's lots of pirates on the internet.

So, I think someone who's a cat and a pirate would be perfect as Minispurr for Communications and the Internet in a Feline Pawty government. That's why I'd like Captain Worm-Sparrow, the candidate for Griffith,  for the job.  Pirates know all about the internet, so I think a pirate would be purrfect.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Prime Minisuprrial Candidate, Feline Pawty.

Friday, 8 March 2013

Tiger Stands Up For Cats Who Don't Have A Firm Meow

Tiger 'Dude' McClygus,
Feline Pawty candidate for Ryan.

Thank you Mr Bumpy for appointing me the Feline Pawty candidate for Ryan.

I have some radical policies which I think you will agree will improve life for all Australians. Firstly, no human will be allowed to eat any meat product in the vicinity of a cat without sharing it. That applies to everything. Bacon, chicken, beef, and tuna. Especially tuna. Secondly, all humans will be obliged to devote their attention to their feline friends whenever it is desired.

I have implemented both of these policies within my own household to great benefit. The humans under my care are now well trained and happier for it. But I recognise that not all cats have the firm meow required to enforce household rules. That's why we need to rewrite the laws for the benefit of all catkind!

With purrs and headrubs,
Tiger 'Dude' McClygus

Introducing the Candidate for Ryan


Yes, it's me, Rupert Rat, back with the Rat Collective.

We warned you, didn't we?  Don't let Mr Bumpy become PM?  Do you remember us telling you that?

Well, since, looking at the opinion poll on the right-hand side of it looks like a Feline Pawty win is inevitable, we thought it was important to at least balance Bumps with cats that are a little more benign.

To that end, we've put our new feline housemate, Tiger up for the seat of Ryan, in Brisbane, Qld.

Tiger lives with us and Miss 21.  He didn't need to be told that anyone who lives in a cage isn't food, he wouldn't think of eating us. He's a very, very nice cat and would never be mean to anyone.  Tiger's exactly the opposite of megalomanicat Mr Bumpy.

You can't meet Tiger on a blog of his own, he has more an on-couch presence than an on-line presence, but Bumps has agreed to let him post on about his campaign activities. (I think Mr Bumpy agreed because we said we'd send Miss 21 for a visit to give him cuddles if he co-operated.  He misses her, even though he's not likely to admit it.)

If you're going to elect Mr Bumpy as Prime Minispurr, make sure you elect gentle cats like Tiger as well.

Stay strong, comrades,

Rupert Rat,
Rat Collective Organiser.

PS Montgomery and Chester send their best.
We're all doing well.

Not Feline Pawty Press Release #4

Going walkies around the block then having a nap on
the couch is a big effort for an old dog with a bad
leg - Mr Woof.
Hello Everyone,

Did you know it's Mr 18's birthday tomorrow?  He'll be,  ahhhhh, 19, yes, that's it.  I met Mr 18 when he was only 2.  That makes me.... let's see, count up the paws, divide by a tail, carry the whisker and then.... yes, it makes me very old.

Being a very old dog, you might understand that I was a bit worried when I saw Thomas (who Mr Bumpy wants to make Minispurr for Sport and Recreation) post this on Twitter:

Thomas Archer @PuppyNumber7

  Entertained ? *eyes narrow* I'm gonna get you all FIT ! *cackle* Frisbee, soccer, swimming efurryday - compulsory !

Frisbee, soccer and swimming efurryday!  Mum says don't worry, he doesn't mean very old dogs with bad legs.  She says very old dogs with bad legs do very well to have walkies around the block and then a long nap on the couch. But Thomas didn't say he didn't mean very old dogs with bad legs.  (I would like to see Bumps have to go swimming efurryday.  That would be funny.  As long as I didn't have to go too.)

Anyway, what I'm supposed to be doing right now, what Bumps told me to be doing right now, was to write a press release all about how the Feline Pawty still has 100% approval in the opinion poll (the one at the right-hand column of this blog.)

The problem is, it doesn't have 100%.  Someone has said they'll vote for a human party!  I'm sure it must be a joke, but you know how Bumps gets about these things.  He's over-sensitive. When he finds out someone might vote against him, I'll probably be in big trouble.

So, instead of writing a press release, I think I'll go and hide under the bed.

Don't tell Bumps where I am, will you? Or Thomas either, come to think of it.

Licks and tail wags,
Mr Woof,

Later -
Thank you whoever changed their vote from the human party to the felines.  You've saved an old dog's skin.

Wednesday, 6 March 2013


picture from Swiss Cat's Ideas
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

As you must know, it is imperative that humans are properly educated in the how to serve cats best. In fact that's one of the Feline Pawty's key policies.

Well, one of our candidates, Loupi, the candidate for Lingairi in the Northern Territory, is especially interested in education. And he has some very good ideas, so much so, I think I'll make him Minispurr for Education in a Feline Pawty cabinet.

He believes humans should be educated in childhood in how to do basic tasks like:

  • feed the cat with his favorite food when he wants
  • petting the cat when he wants
  • leave the cat alone when he wants
  • let the cat the best place, regardless of the location (bed, sofa, table, ...)
  • open the doors at the request

Requirements may be increased gradually when the human is capable of performing spontaneously previous requests with zeal and efficiency. I plan to include in my program remedial courses for incompetent people which can be given by leading experts in the field of feline domestication of humans.   (For more see Loupi's blog post on the topic.)

Since he's already done this much work, imagine how much he could achieve actually in government.

Loupi does live a little outside of his electorate. (Well, OK, he lives in a different hemisphere.) But many human politicians live outside the electorates they represent.We don't make them move to live in the electorate, so I don't see any problem with Loupi doing the same thing as the humans do.

I think that with Loupi's interest in education, and his experience in educating two humans (and a new younger cat who has had to learn to respect his elder), he's ideal for the role of Education Minispurr.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

To keep up with all the latest news from the candidates, visit Campaign Central.

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Sports and Recreation

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Did you know that there is an athlete in the Feline Pawty?

No, I don't mean me, even though I am quite expert at jingle balls.

I'm talking about Thomas, the candidate for Blair in Qld.

When you look at his campaign poster, you see a very sophisticated dog in a bow tie. But he's not always in formal attire.

When he's not out on the campaign trail, Thomas is a Frisbee champion.  In fact, he's never met a Frisbee he didn't want to chase.  He even has glow-in-the dark Frisbees and has trained his human to throw them at night.

Given that he's such an athlete, I think I'll make him Minispurr for Sport and Recreation.  I think having someone who's an expert at sensible sports like Frisbee will make a nice change from the strange national obsession with human games.

Perhaps he could help solve the problem of unhealthy, overweight, humans, by teaching other dogs how to train their humans to play sports, or even to go for walkies. If dogs could train their humans to become active it would help with the health budget as well.

Well, that's a big job, but Thomas is up to it.  He's a champion athlete after all.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Keep up-to-date with all the Candidates at Campaign Central.

Monday, 4 March 2013

Business and Tourism

Gemma, the candidate
for Berowra
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

As you know, I'm working on deciding who will be who in my cabinet when the Feline Pawty wins the Federal Election in September.

One of our honorary cat members is very much travelled, and even runs her own business.

That's Gemma, the candidate for Berowra, and I'm sure she will make a purrfect Minispurr for Business and Tourism.  You can read about all her many adventures travelling to places like the hardware shop and on the train at her blog Gemma's little Gems, and you can also visit her business, which is also named Gemma's Little Gems.

Gemma is a charming, stylish little dog, and Mr Woof tells me that dogs find her trustworthy. Mr Woof also says she will be an ideal face for Australian tourism. (He says lots of other things about her as well. He is very impressed with her, especially after the Awesome Animals interview he did with her earlier this year.)

Well, all this decision-making is very tiring, so I need a nap.  Remember, you can keep track of the campaigning by all the candidates at Campaign Central.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Sunday, 3 March 2013

Feline Pawty Media Release #3

Polls predict feline landslide

The Feline Pawty is still well ahead in the opinion polls.

According to a poll (in the right-hand column of  100% of respondents would vote for the Feline Pawty at the federal election, and 100% said Mr Bumpy was their preferred Prime Minister.

So far the pawty has announced 12 candidates, for the 150 seats in parliament. 

Pawty Leader Mr Bumpy said the pawty was interested in increasing green tape, so as to encourage businesses to find alternate ways to work which protected the environment.  

He said the pawty was in favour of catnip, and against homelessness. He said no-one should have to be feral in a country where there are enough humans for every cat (and honorary cat) to have one.

To find out more about the Feline Pawty's campaign, go to Campaign Central.

All media enquiries to Mr Woof, Doggsbody, at

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

You might not this but governments always have to have someone responsible for sneakiness.

Spies and undercover detectives, people like that, are an important part of keeping any nation safe.

So, I've been thinking about when the Feline Pawty wins the election, whether I should have a Minispurr for Sneakiness.  Someone who could be in charge of ASIO, and the Federal Police, and maybe Military Intelligence, all those sneaky things.

 There's one member of the Feline Pawty who would be perfect as the Minispurr for Sneakiness.

She's a sleek little black panther.  If she followed you during the night, you'd never know, she'd just be a black shadow in the dark.

She is Jessie, the candidate for Goldstein in Victoria. Jessie tells me she could put a Feline Pawty campaign poster on Ms Gillard's front fence in the middle of the night and no-one would see her do it. She'd be like a ninja. Pretty impressive, huh?

That's the kind of  candidate Jessie is. And she thought of doing that all by herself. She's smart as well as sneaky.

Yes, I think Jessie would be perfect as Minispurr for Sneakiness. She's got stealth on her side. I'm sure she could take charge of all the spies and sneaky people the Federal Government has to employ. She will be very good at managing national security and all the big national secrets (like where the Prime Minispurr's stash of really good catnip is kept).

Oh this job of Prime Minispurr's going to be a real challenge, but I've got lots of good cats and honorary cats in my Pawty, and I'm sure they will all do a very good job.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Leader.


Here's another picture of Jessie, being sneaky....

And our campaign poster at Ms Gillard's house....
I really have found the right cat to be Minispurr for Sneakiness.