Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Lessons in Being a Feline Overlord

The bed belongs to you - leave very little space
for the human.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Over at Sometimes, it is Lupus, Mum often joins in those "let's all post on the same topic" things bloggers do together.  Usually, she's doing something about lupus or human health, so I'm not especially interested, but today she's joining in a project for Problogger to write a "how-to" post. Well, I thought, I could join in with that.  I know how to do lots of very important things.

So today, I'm going to tell all you cats out there how to be Feline Overlords.  Not quite like me, because I'm the Supreme Feline Overlord, but you can be effective Overlords in your own home.

Ways to become a Feline Overlord:

  1. Respond only to sounds that benefit you. That means you come running when you hear a can opener or a treat packet being opened.  Do not respond when your human is calling you to come inside at lock-up time.
  2. The bed belongs to you.  Leave as little space as possible for the human.
  3. You decide your feeding time. Humans will want to feed you when they feel like it.  Don't accept that. If you feel like eating, yowl at your empty dish. Disrupt whatever the human is doing.  If all else fails, bite the human and threaten to eat him/her if you don't get something else to eat immediately.
  4. If you want to play with it, it's a cat toy.  It doesn't matter what "it" is. Did the curtain move with the breeze? It's a cat toy. Your human's knitting? The yarn is a cat toy. Your human's playing a computer game? The keyboard's a cat-toy (and so is his/her hand.)
  5. Any pre-warmed seat is yours.  It doesn't matter if the human only intended to get up for a couple of minutes. You take the seat, and you don't give it up when the human returns.
Of course, those are just a few tips to get you started.  I might do another post later with an advanced lesson. Or not. I'll do whatever I feel like.  I'm the Supreme Feline Overlord, after all.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere, 
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
FEline Pawty Prime MInispurrial Candidate.


  1. Waves paw - I have one - the human's car is an obstacle for us to climb and leave pawmarks on especially front window

    1. Oh yes, a car without paw prints would have no character at all!

  2. I might add:

    If it's on the floor, it's fair game. Don't let your human convince you they need their purse and shoes to go to the store. On the floor, it's yours.

    Periwinkle and Smokey

    1. And not just the floor, also the table, the chairs, the top of the fridge, the kitchen bench, anywhere you can get to.

  3. I'm quite good at number one, actually. Need to work on number five though, they always threat to sit on me if I don't move!
    Clothilde (I'm typing with my human's account, of course)


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