Saturday, 8 June 2013

Boat People

Image of Mr Bumpy's paw with a map of Australia inside.  Text: Election Countdown 98
98 Days until the first
Feline Pawty Government
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I want to talk about a major issue in Australian politics: asylum seekers.

Asylum seekers are people who are running away from terrible things like being tortured or killed if they stay in their home countries.

Some of them risk their lives on leaky boats, operated by criminals, to come to Australia, because they think this will be a better place to live. Some of those boats sink, and kill the people who were trying to come here, which is a big problem.

Australian politicians think asylum seekers shouldn't pay criminals and come on leaky boats to Australia. And I agree, in principal to that part.

But what the human politicians have been doing to stop that is trying to make coming to Australia seem so bad that nobody wants to do it.

They've failed at that. Now, don't get me wrong.  The human politicians we have in Australia are very
Picture of Mr Bumpy in the sink, drinking water out of a cup that's been left there to soak.
"Everyone deserves a safe home." - Mr Bumpy.
good at making life unpleasant for everyone.  They've had years of practise. But for what they're trying to achieve, they'd have to make life intolerable, and unless Mr Abbott made everyone see pictures of him in his budgie smugglers every day, there's just no way any of them know how to do that.

No matter what the human politicians have done, they haven't been able to make Australia seem so bad that people would rather be somewhere they were going to be tortured and killed than come here.

Of course the human politicians are only human, so you can't expect them to learn from their mistakes, or from anything much, really.  So they will keep doing what doesn't work.

I'm not human.  I'm a cat, so I'm much smarter than most humans.  I have a better plan.

First of all, the problem isn't that people want to come here because they need somewhere safe to live.  Everyone needs somewhere safe to live.  Ask anyone at a shelter, waiting to be adopted, what they think. They'll tell you: everyone should have a home where they're safe and have their food and water bowls full, and they're loved.  In fact, if you ask the right animal at a shelter, someone who knows, they'll tell you how horrible it is to always be afraid and to keep being hurt, and that a safe home is the most important thing in the world.

So, instead of punishing people for risking everything to come here, we cats would look at the real problem.  The real problem is the leaky boats and the criminals who run them.

We will give asylum seekers a safe way to come to Australia.  We won't make them give us everything they own and we won't make them destroy their identity papers like the criminals do. It's simple.  People won't pay the criminals everything they own, and the criminals won't get rich.  People will come to Australia still with their identity papers, so it's easier to check that they don't have criminal records and things like that.

Then we won't have to lock people in shelters for ever and ever and ever while we try to work out who they are and if they're dangerous.

The ones who have been able to get their savings out of the countries they came from will have their own money to get their new lives started here, because they won't have given it all to criminals.

Australia will get lots of new people who are glad to be here, who can work and help make Australia an even better place to be.  And we'll save lots and lots of money by not locking people up in shelters for ages and ages and ages.

The only people who lose out will be the criminals, and that's OK because everyone wants them to go out of business anyway. Nobody likes someone who makes money out of other people being miserable. (I bet they're not even good to the cats and dogs they live with.)

Well, that's my plan.  It's what will happen if the Feline Pawty wins the election.

If Ms Gillard wins, the humans will keep doing the same things that don't work.

If Mr Abbott wins, he will make Australia an even nastier place for asylum seekers to come, but they'll still come because what they're running away from is even worse (even if he does make them see pictures of him in his budgie smugglers or his lycra bike clothes.)

And Mr Palmer? Well he's rebuilding the Titanic, so I don't think he knows a lot about stopping boats from sinking.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

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