Friday, 23 August 2013

The Daily Muck EXCLUSIVE

The Daily Muck


EXCLUSIVE!

Prime Minispurrial Candidate Hits Rock Bottom!

by Erma Sludge

The Daily Muck has come into possession of photos which show the dark side of one of Australia's most popular politicians.

Feline Party Prime Minispurrial Candidate Mr Bumpy puts himself forward has a clean-living good guy. These photos, both taken in the past two days, show him to be anything but the wholesome influence he pretends to be.


Mr Bumpy, stealing from the garbage.

In the first of these pictures, Mr Bumpy has his head in a garbage bin.  

The Daily Muck has been told he was attempting to steal a bone from the family's roast dinner that night.  He had been given actual meat from the roast as well as his stinky fish and should not have been hungry.

When asked about the incident, Mr Bumpy said: "What a feline overlord does in the privacy of his own kitchen is his own business, and no-one else's.

"I was not stealing from the bin.  I was investigating an important matter, but as it was related to an Official Feline Secret, I am not at liberty to say what it was."

The Daily Muck has noted that Mr Bumpy uses Official Feline Secrets to cover many things he does not want to explain. 

In a second photograph, taken today, Mr Bumpy is seen covered in dirt, bits of leaf, and other materials. 
"Clean living" Mr Bumpy - not really!

Asked about this, he said, "The pupparrazzi really have outdone themselves this time, haven't they?

"Seriously. I'd been out in the garden.  Everyone gets dirty when they're gardening. 

"If that's the worst you've got against me, you're really scraping the bottom of the barrell."

The Daily Muck asked some of the other residents of Mr Bumpy's household about the real Mr Bumpy.

Mr Woof, doggsbody, said: "I really couldn't tell you anything. Bumps wouldn't like it. I'd be in trouble."

Sapphire Budgie said, "Twit!"

Fang Budgie said, "Cheep!"

Clearly, this politician's true character is nothing like his public persona.

5 comments:

  1. Must have been a slow day in Catberra and Erma Sludge had to make up news about you Mr. Bumpy although I wasn't aware she could photoshop so well *curious ears*

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think you're clean enough for Candidature, Mr. Bumpy, and you're aware of the problems of strays, like living in poverty. Happy Pawkisses for the weekend :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mr Bumpy we see the Cats of the world need to pull out the purrs to support you. I shall post your info on my bloggie on Man-Cat Monday!
    Your Suppurrter
    Timmy Tomcat

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, Mr. Bumpy, this is our first meeting, and in spite of all the muckraking we will throw our support your way. Purrs and hugs from the kitties at www.thecatonmyhead.com, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

    ReplyDelete

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