The Daily Muck
Prime Minispurrial Candidate Hits Rock Bottom!
by Erma Sludge
The Daily Muck has come into possession of photos which show the dark side of one of Australia's most popular politicians.
Feline Party Prime Minispurrial Candidate Mr Bumpy puts himself forward has a clean-living good guy. These photos, both taken in the past two days, show him to be anything but the wholesome influence he pretends to be.
|Mr Bumpy, stealing from the garbage.|
In the first of these pictures, Mr Bumpy has his head in a garbage bin.
The Daily Muck has been told he was attempting to steal a bone from the family's roast dinner that night. He had been given actual meat from the roast as well as his stinky fish and should not have been hungry.
When asked about the incident, Mr Bumpy said: "What a feline overlord does in the privacy of his own kitchen is his own business, and no-one else's.
"I was not stealing from the bin. I was investigating an important matter, but as it was related to an Official Feline Secret, I am not at liberty to say what it was."
The Daily Muck has noted that Mr Bumpy uses Official Feline Secrets to cover many things he does not want to explain.
In a second photograph, taken today, Mr Bumpy is seen covered in dirt, bits of leaf, and other materials.
|"Clean living" Mr Bumpy - not really!|
Asked about this, he said, "The pupparrazzi really have outdone themselves this time, haven't they?
"Seriously. I'd been out in the garden. Everyone gets dirty when they're gardening.
"If that's the worst you've got against me, you're really scraping the bottom of the barrell."
The Daily Muck asked some of the other residents of Mr Bumpy's household about the real Mr Bumpy.
Mr Woof, doggsbody, said: "I really couldn't tell you anything. Bumps wouldn't like it. I'd be in trouble."
Sapphire Budgie said, "Twit!"
Fang Budgie said, "Cheep!"
Clearly, this politician's true character is nothing like his public persona.