Monday, 26 August 2013

The Daily Muck

The Daily Muck

The Non-human Vote Splits
by Erma Sludge


With 12 days to go to election,
the non-human vote is splintering.
With 12 days to go until the Australian Election, there's increasing pressure on Australia's first non-
human political party.

Mr Bumpy, Feline Pawty leader and Prime Minispurrial Candidate claims to not be worried about the other animal political parties that are forming, but sources close to him say he is actually very frightened the fragmenting non-human vote will cost him the election.

A small yellow budgerigar, who does not wish to be named, said Mr Bumpy was a "twit", and was sitting on his tail when he should be working on bringing all the animal parties into a catalition.

A second party, the AUP appeared on Twitter some months ago, and most recently Murphy Cavoodle has been campaigning to become Prime Minister.

While Mr Rudd and Mr Abbott have both said that in the event of a hung parliament, they will not negotiate with the Greens for another minority government, Mr Bumpy may have no choice but to band with other parties which have not formed an official catalition with the Feline Pawty, if he has any hope of having any real influence on the Australia Purrliament. 

Mr Bumpy however, said he was down, but not out. "It's very nice of the Daily Muck and Ms Sludge to be so concerned about my electoral position," he said. "But really, the human vote's always been split, and yet humans have always won the elections.  Splitting the non-human vote does not necessarily mean that we can't have a non-human government."

The Daily Muck, believes splitting the non-human vote is sounding the death-knell for animal politics, and Mr Bumpy and his ilk may as well just pack up and go home.

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