Friday, 25 October 2013

Edu-cat-ion and Gifts

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,
"Cream would have been a better present,
but I guess this was pretty good for
small humans."  - Mr Bumpy

Today was World Teachers Day.

I've never needed anyone to teach me anything.  I just always known all I need to know.

So you're saying you never learn anything? - Mr Woof.

No, I never have to learn anything.

Twit! - Fang Budgie.

Humans, however do need to learn things.  Miss 22 and Mr 19 used to go to school, and now they go to uni. They have teachers to teach them important things that humans need to know.

I'm not quite sure what they learn, but I think it's things like how to feed cats, how to brush cats, how to throw jingle balls for cats and how to change cat litter.  I think Mr 19 must be almost finished learning, because he's incredibly good at brushies and throwing my jingle ball.

Learning about cats is so important, that my cat-it-orials are taught in school. For instance, I've discovered that Mrs Blake at Grace College in Redcliffe has been looking at my blog with her grade seven English class.

I'm sure they've learned lots of very important things from reading my cat-it-orials. I was told they read my post about the Great Friskies Crisis, so they definitely know how important it is to always make sure there are plenty of Friskies in the house.

One of Mrs Blake's classes has also been putting together presents for small humans who don't have the good things small humans have in Australia. That's something extra they did, as well as learning important things from my cat-it-orials.

"I inspected the boxes as a public service" -
Mr Bumpy.
Well, of course, as a public service, I felt it was my duty to give the presents a very close inspection.

They included clothes, and toys and toothbrushes, and pencils and pens and books.  There were some great things for small humans in the boxes.

I was a little disappointed to find that none of the boxes had cream, stinky fish, friskies or jingle balls, but both Mum and Mrs Blake said the presents weren't for me. I don't know how anyone could make presents, and not make some for me.

It's about giving things to small humans who don't have a lot - not to give things to a cat who has heaps of stuff. - Mr Woof.

Anyway, I did think it was very good of them to pack such interesting boxes of things. And I'm sure other small humans will be happy with these presents.

I think I'll give Mrs Blake's grade 7 English classes my Bumpy Seal of Approval.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

(If you want to know more about the shoe box presents for small humans, you'll find them at Operation Christmas Child.)

Saturday, 19 October 2013

Afraid? Who Me?

Me? I'm just totally chill - Mr Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

If you live in Queensland, especially on the coastal side, you'll know about summer storm season.

Well, even though it's still only the middle of spring, the awareness campaign has already started.  Not that we're worried about a disaster here. No, with the exception of the Great Friskies Crisis, Mum keeps the pantry so well stocked that we could be isolated for a year before we have a problem. Well maybe not quite a year, and maybe we'd want electricity before then.

Anyway, back to my story.

Some animals are frightened in storms.  Mr Woof is. He's a bit of a sook.

Me, I just take it in my stride.

What about the time you.... - Mr Woof.

As I was saying...  I'm not scared of storms.  So when we heard storm warnings yesterday, I wasn't bothered.

When the wind blew up, I wasn't bothered.

When there was that first rumble of thunder.....

Yes?- Mr Woof.

I got calmly up on to the couch where Mum and Mr Woof were, to make sure they weren't scared.

Sure, that's how I remember it...  - Mr Woof (winks).

Well, who cares how you remember it anyway? You're just a smelly old dog.

Anyway, we really didn't have much of a storm here. Just a little bit of rain, some wind, and one rumble of thunder.

But when the big storms come. We'll be ready.  And I'll keep an eye on Mum, just in case she gets scared.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Thursday, 17 October 2013

The Great Friskies Crisis of 2013

Friskies at last!
I'm first. Mr Woof can wait his turn.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I have just been through a very great trauma.

Last night, Mum served my stinky fish, and Mr Woof's doggy meat, and she topped up the Friskies dish. That's all right. Then she said, "Oh, we've run out of Friskies."

I looked up at her in horror. We're out of Friskies! What kind of negligence was that?  How could she have failed to plan ahead for a potential Friskies shortage?  It's almost storm season, we're supposed to be prepared for disaster - and there's no disaster as great as a Friskies shortage.

"It's OK," she said. "The groceries are being delivered first thing in the morning. You'll have Friskies for breakfast."

That was such a relief.

But when I woke up this morning.... there were no Friskies in my dish.

Mum said the grocery delivery hadn't come yet.

She put cream in my dish and told me that should hold body and soul together until the Friskies arrived.

The cream was good, but there were still no Friskies when I'd finished it.

"They'll be here before ten o'clock." Mum said.

I can't really tell time, but that sounded like a very long time. I could starve to death in that time, I was sure of it.

I went outside for some sun, and to roll around a bit.

Eventually, the grocery delivery man arrived.  Mum unpacked the Friskies as soon as the bag with them was in the house, and she filled the Friskies dish.

There was a line-up by then.

I got first feed of Friskies.  They're my Friskies.  But Mr Woof was right there waiting for his turn. He'd been anxious to get them as well.

Now that the crisis has been averted, I feel much better.

I checked the grocery bags - Mum bought a spare pack as well, so we don't run out again.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

A New.... Something?

"But that's my spot!" - Mr Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I have to tell you about something strange.

For quite a while now, Miss 22's been getting a very, very big tummy.  I've suspected she was going to have kittens.

But what she and her husband brought around to our house the other day, wasn't a kitten, or I don't think it was. Actually, I watched it for a while, and I still don't know what it was.

It was the size of a full-grown cat. And it's only got hair on the top of its head like humans do.

Mum calls it "Grandma's Girl". So I guess that's its name.

Grandma's Girl behaves like a newborn kitten.  It drinks milk and sleeps.  It even had a little meow when it wanted its milk.

Oh, and its got its own fortress.  It's much, much, smaller than my fortress, and doesn't have a roof.  But the sides are made so you can see through it. All Grandma's Girl did in there was sleep, though. Not that there was much else to do. There's no ledges to jump on or catgrass to chew in Grandma's Girl's fortress.

And Grandma's Girl has very bad manners. It doesn't share anything: not milk or Mum's lap. Worse, it doesn't use a litter tray. (I'd tell you what it did, but that's just too disgusting.)

I didn't see it walking while it was here - it was just being carried everywhere by the humans.  Once I see it walking, I'll know what it is.  If it uses all of its legs, I'll know it's a giant funny-looking kitten.  If it only uses two legs, I'll know it's a miniature human.

Anyway, whatever it is, I guess I'll have to get used to it.  It doesn't look like they're going to give it away. All of the humans seemed rather attached to it, although I don't see why.

After seeing Grandma's Girl, I've decided that I'm glad I've been neutralised.

Mr Woof: I think the word you're looking for is neutered.

I don't think I'd want a kitten or whatever-it-is that was like that.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.