Tuesday, 26 November 2013

The Feline Code

3. If the cat wants the middle of the bed,
the human must sleep on the edge.
The Obligations of Humans

  1. Provide fresh Friskies, stinky fish and water.
  2. Provide treats whenever the cat demands.
  3. If the cat wants the middle of the bed, the human must sleep on the edge.
  4. Never disturb a sleeping cat.
  5. If a cat puts his paws over his eyes, he's invisible. You can't see him, and you can't call him a "bad cat."
  6. You clean his litter tray. He doesn't clean your toilet. This tells you all you need to know about the cat-human relationship.
  7. A cat who wakes you up in the middle of the night because he wants attention, should be stroked, cuddled and showered in praise.
  8. Throwing a jingle ball for a cat to chase is a fulfilling and important use of a human's time.
  9. If the cat decides it is dinner time two hours before the normal dinner time - it's dinner time.
  10. When the cat wants brushies, it's non-negotiable.
  11. The dog is a sub-feline species.  It should never be favoured above the cat.
  12. The human is a sub-feline species. It should always serve the cat's needs.
  13. Emptying the bin is the cat's right. The human is honoured to be allowed to clean up the mess.
  14. Humans who do not like cats are not to be invited to visit the cat's house.


The Obligations of Cats

  1. Do whatever you want.
  2. Do it wherever you want.
  3. Do it whenever you want.
  4. Do it for whatever reason you want.

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