Saturday, 9 November 2013

Why God Invented Humans

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,
"I look at humans and I wonder:
what was God thinking?" - Mr Bumpy.

I have been pondering one of the great imponderables of history, theology, metaphysics, of the why of why.

The question I have been pondering is this:  after the perfection of the cat, why did God go on to invent something so utterly pointless as the human?

Humans only walk on two of their four legs, so they're constantly off balance. Their teeth and claws are useless for attack or defence, and no help for survival at all. Their fur only grows in a very small area and is no use at all for insulation against the weather. They're big, but their size doesn't give them any advantage in speed or agility. All in all, humans are a total failure in the area of design.

I look at humans, and I wonder: what was God thinking?

So here's my theological and anthropological reflection on why God made humans:

  • to open cans of stinky fish for cats
  • to be beds, pillows, seats for cats
  • to brush cats
  • to pour cream for cats
  • to throw jingle balls for cats
  • to open and pour Friskies for cats
  • to open doors for cats
  • to provide entertainment for cats
  • to be companions for cats
  • to give cuddles to cats when we're in a cuddly mood
  • to scratch cats behind the ears
  • to change litter trays for cats
  • to grow catnip for cats
  • to do anything else cats require of them.
In other words, God invented humans, inferior species that they are, to be servants for the far more superior cats.

I'm so glad I've solved that age-old puzzle.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

1 comment:

  1. About the absolute design failure, we think that God had no more enough fur to create another acceptable animal (and was a little bit tired too)... Purrs


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