Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Christmas Greetings

Dear Minions

May your dish be full

May you have cream to spare

May your trees be high

May you have gardens to explore

May you have sunshine to roll in

May you have safe places to retreat to

May your bed be soft

May the presents all be for you

May you always know where your jingle ball is

May your memories of lost loved ones be sweet not painful

And may all the blessings of Christmas be yours

Have a meowy Christmas
and a purry New Year.

With condescending acceptance (well you didn't expect actual love from the Supreme Feline Overlord did you?)
From Mr Bumpy

Tuesday, 17 December 2013


Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Do you remember my adventures investigating Baby Joey and all the things she leaves in our house?

Well, Baby Joey got a new bed to keep here. It's bigger than the other one, and Mum doesn't have to bend so far to put her in and out of it.

She certainly looks comfortable when she's in it.

So, of course, one day when she wasn't here, I tried it.

And it really was comfortable. But Mum kept getting me out of it. Then she turned the mattress on its side for some strange reason.

Guess what?

With the mattress gone, Baby Joey's bed is the most fun place to play!

Paws and tails just slip through the gaps. It makes "hunt the tail" really interesting. It's so much fun!

What do you think "water pistol" means? Mum's talking about getting me one. I hope it's fun.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Sunday, 15 December 2013

Saint Bumpy

Saint Bumpy washed his face and paws before
meeting Jesus.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

With all the Christmas decorations going up in my house, and Mum doing all her Christmas baking, I've decided to get into the Christmas spirit, too.

I've been reenacting scenes from the life of my famous ancestor Saint Bumpy.

Saint B was known for washing his face and paws before meeting the young Jesus.

Of course, later the same day, he got in a bad mood and caused an earthquake in Bethlehem, scattering wise men everywhere. How's that for an epiphany?

OK, Saint B was a bit capricious. Some church scholars in fact suggest he wasn't a saint at all, but a complete jerk. They back this up with the story, probably apocryphal, of his making angels fall. (His making angels fall might be an apocryphal story, but it is a lot of fun to recreate. I've done that, and the earthquake, several times.)

I think the church scholars who criticize Saint B are probably just jealous that they don't have such an awesome ancestor. In my book, he's a true saint and a model for all cats to follow.

Whatever you're doing this Christmas, remember to keep your face and paws clean. As for the rest of your body, roll in the dirt, whatever. It doesn't matter. Even saints can't be completely clean.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Goodbye Mr Woof

Mr Woof 1996-2013

Goodbye old friend,
faithful companion, confidant,
licker of toes and warmer of feet,
chaser (but never quite catcher) of posties' motorcycles,
thief of teddy bears, pillows and avocado sandwiches,
stoic survivor of paralysis tick, cane toad toxin, and cruciate catastrophies,
anxious barker, snorer, snuffly sniffer, 
fearful of cats, and of being alone,
lover of beaches, duck ponds, and furry blankies, and incredibly long naps,
heroic guarder of treats,
furry child and brother,
wagger of stumpy tail,
connoisseur of pigs ears, rawhide chews, and bad smells,
excitable puppy, even in old age,
weetbix gobbler,
prickle collector,
beard food storer,
hater of baths, flea treatments and veterinary thermometers,
well-meaning trip hazard,
lover of routine, of family, and scratches,
pathetic pleader for people food,
clown and king,
champion sleeper,
stress puppy,
botherer of offensive old neighbour,
prolific pooper,
territorial wee-er,
bathroom door guarder,

the best dog in the world.