Monday, 29 April 2013

Cat-puter Restrictions

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,
"I'm not getting enough time on the cat-puter" - Mr Bumpy.

You might have noticed I haven't been on the cat-puter much lately.  Well, I noticed.

I had a little talk with Mum about it this morning when I woke her up for cuddles before Friskies.

She says she's busy getting something new and exciting ready on her lupus blog for World Lupus Day, which is the 10th of May.

I explained that I have an election campaign to run.

Mum said she didn't think Mr Abbot or Ms Gillard were about to do anything in the next little while that would make them look like better candidates for Prime Minispurr than me, and that I should save all my good campaign material for just before the election.

She said I could have the cat-puter all I liked in the last couple of weeks before the election.

I gave her a nice big bite on the hand, so she wouldn't forget that promise.

There's so much I have to tell you about my ideas for government, and I have to introduce you to the Feline Pawty's new candidate, Valentino.  But all that can wait until Mum's big new thing on her blog (probably something boring about humans) is done and World Lupus Day is over.

Until next time we meet in the bloggosphere,
I remain,


Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Monday, 22 April 2013

Intruder Alert

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,
"I was just sitting in the lounge room,
watching tv with my humans." - Mr Bumpy.

I'm sure you've heard that if a black cat crosses your path, that's bad luck.  Well it was very bad luck for the black cat who crossed my path last night.

Mum's been leaving the door open because Mr Woof needs to go out so much lately, and just locking up a bit before bed-time.

It was a little before lock-up time, and I was just watching tv with the humans and Mr Woof, when this black cat, who none of us knew, just wandered in and decided to watch tv with us.

Now I'm as laid-back as the next cat, but this was an inappropriate violation of  my family's privacy.  This wasn't a friend one of us invited in.  Not like the humans who visit because Mum or Mr 19 says "come in", or even Mr Woof's doggy friend Nelson who lives in the roof who visited once.  No, this was a cat no-one knew. No-one said "come in strange cat." He just decided to let himself in.

And he was standing right beside Mr 19.  You know Mr 19 belongs exclusively to me.  Well, I said very politely, if a bit formally, with stiff legs and an arched back. "Please leave, strange cat."

He didn't move straight away, so I let out a long loud yowl and launched myself at him.  All that attacking practice I do with Mr Woof paid off because I bowled the strange cat over and out the door in one move.

Mum followed us out to break up the fight, but the strange cat was already gone.

I did an inspection of Budgie Towers because if I'm not allowed to eat my budgies, then certainly no other cat is.

I insisted on doing a patrol of the fence line for a while, just to be sure the intruder wasn't coming back,  before coming back in to watch tv with the family again.

You don't intrude on my family's tv time.

And you don't disrespect the Supreme Feline Overlord.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,


Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.


Saturday, 20 April 2013

An Embarrassing De-Tail

"I have a stump!" - Mr Woof.
Hello Everyone,

Can I tell you an embarrassing secret? Promise you won't tell anyone?

When I was a puppy, before I met my humans, someone stole my tail. I have a stump.   So when I say "Licks and Tail Wags" at the end of my posts, I really mean "Licks and Stump Wags."

Well, you can imagine how awful it is for a dog to go through life without his most expressive appendage. When I want to show I'm happy, I can't give a good hearty tail wag, I can only give a little stump wiggle.

My humans have always been very nice about it and told me I have a cute stump.  But they also say they'd like to meet the person who did this horrible thing to me and cut off a piece of them.

I can't remember it happening, I was only a little puppy at the time, and I sometimes wonder if maybe I was a very, very bad dog and deserved this horrible treatment.  Mum tells me that can't be true, that she knows I always try my best to be a good dog, and anyway no puppy could ever be naughty enough to deserve something so terrible.

Anyway, my stump and I are off to go explore the yard, and then maybe have a very long nap.  I hope you have a happy day.

Licks and Tail Wags,


Mr Woof,
Doggsbody.





Friday, 19 April 2013

Don't Lose Your Human

"Don't lose your human." - Mr Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I have to talk to you about a very serious issue today.

I've been following Where Pets Are Found on Facebook and on Twitter and I've noticed something terrible.

There are far too many cats and dogs losing their humans.

Now, this is just irresponsible. If you lose your human, who will open cans for you?  We have to keep track of such valuable resources.

And don't forget, humans are pretty helpless on their own.  Have you seen their teeth and claws? They can't protect themselves from predators - they need you.

So remember, if you have a microchip, tell the microchip people every time you move house what your new address is, so that if you get separated from your humans for some reason, someone can help you find them again.

And if you have a council registration, tell the council when you move, for the same reason.

And please, follow Where Pets Are Found, and keep an eye out for anyone who has lost their humans. You know humans get very frightened when the animals they live with aren't there to look after them.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,


Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Monday, 15 April 2013

A New Skill

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I have to share my news.

I've trained Mr 19 to give me brushies, while I eat Friskies.  I am a very, very happy cat now.


It's wonderful to have two of my favourite activities combined.

And it just proves you can train your human to do just about anything.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Sunday, 14 April 2013

The Rumour Mill

"Do they have cool teeshirts?" - Mr Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I wonder if you've heard of the "rumour mill" that journalists sometimes talk about with reference to Australian politics.

Well, something fell out of the rumour mill at my feet this evening, which, if proven true, could affect the Feline Pawty's election campaign in ways we can't even begin to predict.

There's apparently a new party in Australian politics.  Not a human party - those don't interest me that much at all.  But I heard a rumour on twitter about another party of cats, called the AUP.  I'm not quite sure what that stands for, but I'm going to find out.

There's so much to find out about this new party: do they have a cool campaign poster? How many candidates do they have? Are those candidates campaigning in the same seats as Feline Pawty candidates? Do they have cool campaign teeshirts? (Cool campaign teeshirts are essential.) All the questions! The stress! The not knowing!  It's making me want a nap. Or maybe some stinky fish then a nap!  I want something!

I can see this going one of two ways - if their policies aren't compatible with the Feline Pawty's then we have a new front to fight the battle on, and the election becomes a bit of a cat fight.

If their policies are compatible with ours (and I'm not going to back down on the availability of nip policy for anyone), then maybe we can form a coalition.

After all, I've heard that some commentators are suggesting that a coalition could win this election.

If you've forgotten who all the Feline Pawty candidates are, or what our policies are, or want to refresh your memory of anything any candidates have said with regard to the election, you can find links to everything at Feline Pawty Campaign Central.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

The Haunted Tree

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I'm sure you know that I love getting out when the humans want me to stay inside.

One of the things I've always loved to do outside, is to climb trees.  From a tree, I can look down on all the human activity, and there's no hope of any human getting up to catch me.

Well, I was happily up the tree in front of the house the other day, when I heard something I didn't expect. I heard a human voice call out, "Hey Bumpy," from above me.

There was a human above me!  I couldn't believe that was possible.  That couldn't be right, I thought.  So maybe the tree was haunted, and it knew my name.

Well, I know when it's best not to stick around, so I darted down the tree, and back inside the house in under a second while Mum laughed at me.

It was a little while before I remembered something, something which made me realise what Mum was laughing about.

There's humans in our roof, since we moved to this house.

One of them had called out to me from their window, which was above my tree.

Well, I'm glad my tree isn't haunted, but I still think it's wrong that humans can be up above a cat in a tree!

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,


Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.


Monday, 8 April 2013

Alas, Poor Rupert

Rupert rat, with a peanut.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Montgomery and Chester Rat have sent me a very sad message to pass on to you.

Rat Collective Organiser, Rupert Rat has died.

Before you ask, no, I did not eat him.  The Rat Collective doesn't live with me any more.  And Tiger, who does live with the Rat Collective didn't eat him either.

(Tiger doesn't believe in finding his own food, he only likes things humans put in his dish.  He's quite a boring cat like that.)

Rupert actually lived a very long little Rat life, and was very happy, and loved cuddles with Miss 21 right up to the end.

The remaining members of the Collective miss their ratty brother very much. And they know you will, too. They say don't send flowers, but they will accept sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, cake or peanuts as appropriate tributes to his memory.
The Rat Collective: Montgomery (front), Chester (middle), Rupert (back).

Rupert, loved cuddles with humans.
Rupert, cooling down with an ice cube on a hot day.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,



Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.





Friday, 5 April 2013

Mr Woof's Other Job

Hello Everyone,
I'm the spokesdog for the Lupus Business Directory -
Mr Woof, Doggsbody.

Did you know I'm the spokesdog for the Lupus Business Directory?

Because I have a bad leg and I'm old and tired all the time, Mum says I know just what it's like to live with a chronic illness.

So what is this directory? I know you're really keen to know.

Lots of people with lupus and other chronic illnesses run very small or micro-businesses.  Lots of the time they're selling things they've made as therapy. (Mum has her books she's written, and teeshirts with her artwork on them.)

Mum collects information about these businesses and publishes them in the Directory, so that people wanting to buy gifts or whatever can go to the directory, and buy from someone who really does need help.

(Oh, it's called the Lupus Business Directory, but it actually lists businesses owned and run by people with any chronic illnesses.)

So if you want to help out humans who are sore and tired, like me, or if you just want to look for some really interesting things you can buy, please go take a look at the directory.  (If you buy something, tell them the directory's spokesdog sent you.)  And please tell all your friends about the directory, too. Mum says she's got no money for advertising, so we need to tell people whenever we can.

Whatever you're doing today, I hope it's fun. 

Licks and tail wags,



Mr Woof,
Doggsbody,

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Care of Humans

"A responsible cat looks after his humans when they're
sick." - Mr Bumpy.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I've talked about caring for your humans before, but I think I forgot to mention how important it is to look after them properly when they're sick.

Mum had a headache this morning, and she went back to bed to lie down.

I was on duty immediately.

I went to lie on her chest to monitor the situation as closely as possible, and to ask her to stroke me from time to time. (Well, she had nothing better to do.)

It's important to look after your human when they're sick.

But then Mr Woof did the most annoying thing.  He laid down right beside Mum, cuddled up closely, with his head on Mum's arm.

Mum had a headache. I was sure she didn't need an annoying dog leaning all over her.  So I walked down Mum's arm, and bit Mr Woof's ear.

Now I know Mum was really feeling sick. She thought I was the one who did something wrong and went mad on me. She put me down on the floor and left that annoying dog on the bed beside her. I have to forgive her for that because she didn't mean it, she was just sick.

Of course, I got back up to take care of her.  And since she seemed to want that annoying dog, I left him alone.  Humans get strange ideas when they're sick.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,



Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

King of the Catputer

"I'm king of the catputer" - Mr Bumpy, Bloggercat.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

As you know, as an experienced Bloggercat, I'm an expert on the catputer.

But sometimes, my humans misbehave and blame me for things that go wrong with their catputers.  They act like I don't know what I'm doing.

For example, a couple of years ago, I helped Miss 21 with an email she was writing.  She told Mum I'd walked over her keyboard and written a rude word.  As if I would do that!

Then yesterday, Mr 19 was playing a game, "Dark Souls" on his catputer.  I watched how he was managing  his controller, and decided that he really needed help. An experienced Bloggercat knows when humans need help with the catputer, and Mr 19 was really in trouble.

So, I knocked the controller out of his hands and took over the game.  Mr 19 took the controller from me almost straight away, but I had managed to do one thing to improve his game significantly.

"Why did you kill the blacksmith?" he asked.  But he didn't listen to my explanation. He just carried on about how hard it was to find a blacksmith and how bad his weapons would get without a blacksmith to maintain them, and how I'd set him back four hours of game-play. He didn't realise just what an amazing thing I'd managed to do, killing that blacksmith in just the couple of seconds I had the controller. And he just won't listen to me trying to tell him why he should want the blacksmith killed.

Really, my humans just don't appreciate all I do for them. And they especially don't recognise the value of my work on the catputer.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,


Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord,
Feline Pawty Prime Minispurrial Candidate.