Saturday, 11 January 2014

Mr Bumpy's Email

Their email:

Hi my name is Angela Weems

 I’ve been tracking the success of your company while working on your competitors' sites—I’m very impressed with your company, but there are some real opportunities for growth.

Are you interested in several proven strategies to use content and social media to drive relevant traffic to your site? In 20 minutes I can show you how to fuel your brand and generate more revenue.

This is a $2,500 value free of charge.

I’d like to follow up about this with a quick phone call. Can I call you this week to discuss your campaign?

Best Regards,
Angela Weems
Goldsmith Center 6523

Wilshire Blvd. Los Angeles.


Mr Bumpy
7:17 AM (1 minute ago)

to Angela
Hello Angela

This company you've been tracking the success of isn't a company. It's a cat. He's fully grown thank you, and doesn't need any further growth.

He doesn't generate revenue.

He has a blog that is a hobby for a disabled pensioner.

There's no money to hire you.

If there were money to hire someone, it would be paid to someone who can track a website and know the difference between a company and a cat.

Please don't bother to send yet another email about how you can help my non-existent company, or that you are working for my non-existent competitors.

Mr Bumpy

Note: Mr Bumpy receives two or three emails of this type a week... this particular writer had decided that a daily follow-up to her initial email would be a good idea.


  1. MOL! We're always surprised at some of the emails we get. Like the one that asked if we'd be interested in trying a pair of eyeglasses and doing a review. :)


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