Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Pass the Parcel, err Cat

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,
I began on Mum's lap.

I want to show you how well-trained humans behave with regard to the cats who own them.

As I'm sure you know, one of the most important rules for humans is "never disturb a comfortable cat."

Well, the other day I started out comfortably on Mum's lap on the couch.  I wasn't quite asleep, but I was thoroughly relaxed.

Then Mum said she needed to go to the bathroom.  

Mr 20 picked up a very soft blankie and put it on his lap, and said, "Pass the cat."

Mum very gently picked me up and carefully transferred me to the soft blankie on Mr 20's lap.

On the soft blankie on
Mr 20's lap.

The thing that makes a comfortable human lap even better is a really soft blankie, so I was very comfortable and relaxed.. 

A bit later when Mum came back, she asked Mr 20 to empty the dishwasher.  She put the other soft blankie on her lap ad Mr 20 very carefully transferred me to Mum's lap.

When Mr 20 came back from emptying the dishwasher, Mum had to go and do something else.  Humans are always doing things. 

Again I was carefully transferred from one lap to the other.

Now, in an ideal world, a human would just stay perfectly still for two hours when I decide to have a two hour nap on one of them.  But, I don't think any human in the world has ever been trained quite that well.

The next best thing, is to have humans trained to know how to transfer a cat from lap to lap without interrupting his comfortable rest time.  

Of course, even the best trained humans fall down on the job sometimes.  When Mum spilled hot coffee on herself she jumped up off the chair so fast I just fell on the floor. Clearly she needs a little more training.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Mostly Harmless

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,
With Mr 20, I'm always loving,
and will relax for scratchies.

You might not know this, but I have more than one purrsonality.

When I'm with Mr 20, I'm always loving and cuddly.

I just love to be with him, and he can stroke me, cuddle me, brush me, or just sit with me. I don't care. As long as I'm with him, I'm a purrfectly happy, beautifully behaved cat.

I'll just relax for scratchies or any other attention for Mr 20.

When I'm with Mum, however, it's different.

Sometimes, I want to be her loving friend, and I'll lie on her lap and purr while she strokes me.

Sometimes, I take over the bed.

But at other times, a very different Mr Bumpy appears for Mum.

Sometimes Demanding Bumpy appears for Mum. I scratch and bite to get her to do things for me.

I'll claw her face or bite her nose to get her out of bed if I think she's sleeping in too long.

I'll sit on the back of the couch and claw her head if she hasn't given me my stinky fish on time.  She says my time for demanding stinky fish gets earlier each day, but I don't believe that.

If she moves when I'm comfortable on her, I'll grab on tight with my claws.

Mum says for her I'm just an evil cat.

For Baby Joey, I'm a different cat again.

I'm a very patient mentor for her.

I've been teaching her how to be a cat.  She does some things very well. She's good at playing with cat toys, and she wants to try Friskies (but mean old Mum keeps taking her away from them.)

So, if she drools a bit when she rubs her head on me, I quietly tolerate it.  After all, I'm the one who taught her that we greet each other with head bumps and head rubs.

If she grabs, or pushes too hard stroking me, I just quietly walk away.  I don't bite or scratch her.  She's still learning.

She'll be a great cat one day, that baby.  If only she'd stop walking around on just her back legs! (She'd started out on four legs, getting around very well, and then seemed to forget how to do it.)

When I'm out in the yard, I'm a big, brave, jungle cat.

Birds, and anything else that might invade my territory beware.  Nothing gets in the way of the king of the jungle.

I stalk, I hide, I pounce.

I am the expert at camouflage.

I am silent and deadly.

I am master of all I survey.

I rule my jungle kingdom with an iron claw. See me and tremble! Or worse, don't see me until it's too late to tremble.

In the garden, my true animal nature comes out.

So that's me. I'm a far more complicated cat than anyone normally realises.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Complicated Supreme Feline Overlord.