Monday, 20 October 2014

Detante

It's an uneasy truce, and I still didn't need a doggy sister.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Things have settled down a bit around here.  I've called a truce, sort of, well, maybe more an uncomfortable semi-tolerance with Fanta.

As you know, I would never soften my anti-dog stance.  And I really did not need a sister.

But I have found Fanta has her uses.

She cleans dishes.  She sits and waits while I eat, and then when I walk away from my dish, she cleans up whatever is left over.  I like my Friskies freshly poured, and now Mum can't say, "But there's still Friskies in your bowl." My bowl is always empty, unless I'm currently eating.

She helped me get Mum out of bed this morning.  I went in and jumped on the bed and told Mum I was hungry. Mum did her "just ten more minutes" routine, but then Fanta leaped up on the bed. Apparently, when 17kg of flying bull terrier suddenly lands on a human, the human notices.

How to share a lap without
being friends.
So Fanta does have her uses.

But really, the reason I've decided on ceasing, or at least reducing, hostilities, is that I had a night out.

Some of Mum's human friends came to visit the other day.  They brought a dog for a play date with Fanta.  Well, that was too much.

I went upstairs for a while, then I went out, and just didn't come home all night.

At all times of the night I could hear Mum going outside and calling me.  Mum likes to sleep at night, but if I'm out, she doesn't sleep, she worries about me and keeps looking for me.

But then I realised, Mum might be missing out on some sleep, but I bet Fanta wasn't.  Fanta was comfortable, sleeping in Mum's bed, where I could have been if I wasn't stuck outside.  Except, I wasn't really stuck, I was choosing to be outside.  I was outside my house, where I was Overlord, just because I didn't want to be with a dog.

I went and meowed at Mr 20's window, to get him to let me in.

It's my house.  I'm not going to spend all my time stuck up in my cat climbing tree, or outside or hiding, or whatever.  I'm just going to do what I always do and ignore the dog.  And if I can't ignore her, or use her for my purposes at the time, I'll scratch her nose and tell her to get out of my way.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,



Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Thursday, 9 October 2014

The Great Cupcake Caper

The Evidence
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I've been vindicated!

I told the humans a dog was not a good idea. Today, I was proved right.

Today Mum had a baking day. She made cupcakes.

Now, I know cupcakes are for humans, and I am not to knock them off the table and eat them. (In fact, if I wanted to eat them, I could get up on the table and eat them anyway, but I wouldn't do that.)

I wouldn't, but Fanta did.

Mum went out to water the plants, and Fanta came out to her carrying a cupcake.  (Dumb dog. She doesn't know that you never carry the evidence to Mum.)

When Mum came back to the kitchen she found empty and half empty cupcake holders all over the floor.

Another crime in progress.
But that's not Fanta's only crime.

Oh no, she was also caught stealing the pillows on Mum's bed.

Now, the rules are that animals are allowed to be on Mum's bed if we leave her the pillows.

And, as with the cupcakes, if I were going to steal Mum's pillows, I'd take care not to get caught.  Fanta, just doesn't get that. She just keeps getting caught.

It's all so funny, watching from up on my cat tower, seeing Fanta getting into trouble.

Sadly, Fanta didn't get into as much trouble as I thought she should.  Mum and Mr 20 both said she was still learning the rules here.

I said, "Mum, this dog you've brought into our house is a compulsive criminal.  You can't trust her. You should send her back to the shelter."

Mum said, "You'll get used to her, and she'll get used to how we do things in our house.  She's been here less than a week."

I never thought I'd see the day when Mum was so nice about someone stealing her cupcakes and her pillows.

How unjust is this? The dog next door barked, and Fanta just sniffed at the fence.  Mum called her a "good little lady" for being quiet when the other dog barked.  She didn't get into much trouble at all for the things she did, and she got praise for what she didn't do (bark)!

It's all just wrong.

But do you know the worst of it? With Fanta being here, I have to share the humans' attention with her.

If you want me, I'll be back up on my cat tower, looking out the window, ignoring my family.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,



Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Indignant Feline Overlord.

Sunday, 5 October 2014

Fanta's First Post

Hello everyone!
Mr Bumpy won't come
down from the fridge.

My name's Fanta.

I'm new here.  I'm doing the post because Mr Bumpy won't come down from the top of the fridge.

My new catty brother doesn't seem to like me very much, but Mum says give him time.

So, I've learned lots of things since I moved into my new home. Do you want to know about them?


  1. Me driving the car is a "no".
  2. Jumping up on Budgie Towers trying to catch the birds is a "no".
  3. "Meow" does not mean, "I want to play chasey. Come and catch me."  I'm not sure what it does mean.  I think I am going to have to learn feline, or get a translator.
  4. Offering Bumpy one of my squeaky toys will not get him to come down from whatever high up spaces he's in, to play with me.
  5. Mr Bumpy did not need sister, and I am surplus to requirements.
  6. Mum says Mr Bumpy will get over himself eventually. 
  7. Jumping on my baby makes her fall down and cry, so I have to be careful not to do that, no matter how exciting our game is. 
  8. If my my baby falls down and cries, lots and lots of licks make her laugh again.
  9. If my baby cries and I can't make her happy again, it means she is tired and not even the big humans can make her happy until she goes to sleep. 
  10. Mum likes the end of the bed with the pillows.  I am supposed to stay at the other end of the
    Lap dog, requiring two laps.
    bed, until Mum's asleep and doesn't know what I'm doing. Once she's sleeping, I can creep up and share the pillows.
  11. Mum does not like 17kg of bull terrier lying across her chest or head when she's trying to sleep. 
  12. When Mum's in the really, really, tiny room, she prefers that I guard her from outside the door.
  13. I can be a lap dog, but I'm too big for just one lap.  I have to lie across two laps.
  14. Disemboweling the cushions while Mum is at the shops is a "no".
  15. Mum going to the shops sometimes means I get new toys.
  16. I'm a polite little lady and I don't need to bark when the ill-mannered dogs around the neighbourhood bark.
  17. Digging up Mum's rose plant is a "no".
    Bed - a great place to
    store toys and eat
    treats.
  18. I have lots of my own toys, I can play with.  Taking anyone else's toys is a "no", even if I give the one of mine in exchange.
  19. My bed is a great place to keep my toys and to eat treats.  I sleep on the floor or on Mum's bed
  20. I eat my food, not anyone else's.  Bumpy's food is now kept high up on his cat tree so I can't help him eat it.
  21. Mum doesn't run around, but the other humans in my family like to play running games with me.
  22. I have a really, really  big yard, and I'm allowed to play in all of it, except the part where Budgie Towers is.  But I'm not supposed to chase Bumpy up trees and keep him stuck up there. I don't know why not - it's lots of fun.
  23. The vacuum cleaner is scary... if you don't believe me, ask my baby, she thinks so too.
  24. When Mum asks for things I have, I should give them to her nicely.... but I can play tug of war with the other big humans, as long as it's with one of my rope-type toys.
  25. The cat door is too small for me, only my head goes through, and if I run at it, I will get stuck. (I've tried a couple of times, it's always the same.)  Until Mum gets me a new doggy door, I have to wait for the humans to open the big door.
Well, that's all for now.  I'm sure I'll have lots to tell you about my new home in the future.  If you're in the neighbourhood, come over and play with me.  Oh, wait, Mr Bumpy says do not come over and play, sorry. Maybe we can meet in the dog park, when I've settled in and am allowed to go out.

Lots of licks. Lots of tail wags. No barks (because polite little ladies don't do that).
Bye for now.
Miss Fantasia Dog
(but you can call me Fanta)


PS.  Did you know you could donate to the shelter where I lived before I found my forever home?  Find the donation page for the Animal Welfare League of Queensland here:   https://awlqldfundraising.everydayhero.com/au/mrbumpycat 

Thursday, 2 October 2014

Fantasia

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

You might remember my smelly old doggy brother Mr Woof, who died a while ago.
Meeting my new "sister" Fantasia.

Well, I don't miss him at all.

But Mum kept saying she missed him.  She has me, and a cage of birds, why on earth would she want a dog? Get over it Mum. He's gone. And so much the better, right?

Well, today, she and the other humans did something totally unthinkable.  They went to the Animal Welfare League of Queensland, and came back with, you guessed it, a dog.

It's a little Staffordshire bull terrier, named Fantasia.  The humans mostly call her "Fanta", although I've also heard Mr 20 call her "Fancy Pants."

Mum says it won't be long before Miss Fanta and I are cuddling up together the way Mr Woof and I did. I personally don't remember any cuddling.

The friendship between Mr Woof and Mr Bumpy,
that Mr Bumpy does not remember. - Mum.


Baby Joey and Fanta are great friends already.  A little while ago, Fanta was walking around the room carrying Joey's toy meerkat, while Joey was chewing Fanta's toy bone.

Mum seemed to think that was a problem, but Joey and Fanta were quite happy with the situation.

There is one problem.... My door is too small for Fanta.  I ran through it with her following, and she followed - but only her head got through.  Mum should have got a photo of that but she seemed more concerned with un-stuck-ing the stuck dog.

So now the back door is partly open, which is letting all the air conditioning out.   I could have told Mum that a dog would not be a good idea. She says, we'll just get a new pet door soon.

Until we meet next time in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,


Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord.