Something absolutely must be done about Mr Bumpy Cat's behaviour.
The other day, he cornered me while I was ahem, "on the throne", and would not let me leave.
I was stuck inside a covered litter box, unable to leave without being assaulted. I have no idea what I would have done if Miss Fantasia hadn't heard my calls for help, barrelled into the bathroom and knocked my antagonist over, thereby distracting him while I made my escape.
I did not escape unscathed, however. Something unmentionable was in my tail as a result of my ordeal.
The servants, declaring me "smelly", bathed me yet again! Yes, you heard that right, because of Bumpy's actions, I was bathed! Mr Bumpy, however, was not punished in any way.
If this day had not been traumatic enough, I repeatedly requested dinner, to be told, "It's not dinner time."
Now, I ask you, how reasonable is it that there only be one "dinner time" in a day, while there are at least 20 "not dinner times"? In a fair and reasonable world, there should surely be at least an equal number of "dinner times" and "not dinner times".
I therefore demand some action on the matters of servants with access to water and shampoo, and of the disparity between "dinner times" and "not dinner times". But most importantly, I absolutely insist, that some appropriate action be taken about the behaviour of my nemesis Mr Bumpy Cat.
Sir Percival Yowling-Feline
|I was bathed!|