Friday, 8 April 2016
I've had such a tiring morning.
I took Mum for a walk. That's very hard work.
To start with, Mum is very slow. Then, whenever the lead gets tight, she stops all together and says, "Stop pulling, Fanta."
Well, if she could walk faster, I wouldn't be pulling, but I do have to remember that she's walking on just two legs, and she doesn't do that as well as Mr D or Miss C does. (And definitely not as fast as my best friend Miss Joey who can zoom around the yard.)
Then after we walked a little while, two naughty dogs on the other side of the road barked at us. I cried. I jumped up and down. I whined. Mum told me it was all right, just ignore them.
Let me tell you, I may not bark very often, but I understand the language perfectly. The only reason Mum could be so calm about the situation is that she did not understand what those big meanies were saying. I told Mum we should run away home before the other dogs could get out of their yards, but Mum insisted we keep walking and ignore them. That was very scary. Mum is so naive that she didn't even know what terrible danger we were in.
Then, of course, we had to turn around and come home, and of course the big mean doggies said all the same horrible things to us again. Again I tried to tell Mum we had to hurry home where it was safe, but she still walked just as slowly as she always does. I kept telling her to get down on all four legs so she could be faster, but she didn't.
Just two houses from home, I saw Bumpy sitting in someone else's front yard. I grrred and told him to go home and stop being a naughty cat. Do you know what Mum said? "That's not Bumpy, that's Pseudo-Bumpy."
Pseudo-Bumpy is what my humans call another cat in our neighbourhood who looks remarkably like Bumpy. I never knew he was real. I just thought it was Bumpy refusing to answer when he was being called, then running around the corner and sauntering back from another direction saying "Who me? No I wasn't here just a moment ago." But it turns out Pseudo-Bumpy is real and while he was in that yard he stayed still long enough so Mum could tell it really wasn't Bumpy, even though I wasn't sure.
(Before the cats were confined to the house, Bumpy was forever doing mean things to me and then saying, "It wasn't me, it was the other guy." Now, I don't know if he was telling the truth.)
All walks, no matter how adventurous, and no matter how slow the human, eventually come to an end, and when we got home my human was exhausted, so we went and had a nap.
Whatever you're doing with your human today, I hope you have fun, but remember, a human is a big responsibility.
Licks and tail wags
Miss Fantasia Dog
(call me Fanta)