Friday, 10 June 2016

Sir Percival and the Holy Grail

To Whom It May Concern,
"I believe I have found the Holy Grail." - Percy.

It has come to my attention that the original, human, Sir Percival was a disgrace to the name, and it is up to me to rectify his disastrous failing.

As I understand it, Sir Percival went in search of the Holy Grail.

He was actually in the castle, with the Fisher King, with the Grail processed in front of him.

Sir Percival failed to ask, "Is that thing being processed past us between each course of the meal the Holy Grail?"

If he'd asked, the Fisher King would have been healed of his injury, and Percival would have claimed the Grail.

But he failed to ask the question, the Fisher King died, the castle crumbled and the grail was lost forever.

"I'm inspecting it closely, to be sure." - Percy.
 Now, I don't know if this house is what counts as a castle, but one of the humans, Mum is sick.  And I found a cup that I think may possibly be a Grail of some sort.

Mr Bumpy tells me that when Mum worked as a minister, she sometimes took a cup like this one to church.  So this could indeed be Holy.

I have inspected this particular object very closely, and have found nothing to disprove the idea that this might be the Holy Grail.

Having the Grail within reach of my paws, gives me the opportunity to rescue my family name from disrepute and dishonour.

Now, I have to ask the right question.  If this truly is the Holy Grail, and if I get the question right, Mum will be healed and I will have the Holy Grail, and all of the honour that comes of finding it.  (Sadly, there are no Knights of the Round Table left to give me the due honour that would come with this find.)  I wonder how many chances I have to find the right question?

Percy! What are you doing with that? - Mum.
"Is this what a Grail's supposed to look like?" - Percy.


Oh, no, Mum, I'm the one supposed to be asking questions.

Did you knock that off the table?

Mum, let me ask the questions!  You could get better if I get the question right.

Wait, Mum! Don't take it away!

Mum, Mum, Mum! Is this the Holy Grail?

What are you yowling about? - Mum.

Wrong question, apparently.  Mum, have any knights or anyone else on a quest been to visit you?

Percy, settle down.  It's not dinner time. - Mum.

"It's certainly a very nice cup.  I hope it's the Grail." - Percy.
Mum, don't put that in the cabinet!  I've still got to get the question right.

What has got into you today? - Mum. 

What else could the question be?

Mum, don't close the cabinet.  Bring that back!  Don't you want to get better?

Now, there's trouble.

I wonder how long I have to come up with the right question before disaster strikes.

This really is a serious situation. If you are in any way able to help, please do so immediately.

Yours Sincerely
Sir Percival Yowling-Feline