Sunday, 2 April 2017

Let Me Explain A Couple of Things

"Let me explain a couple of things." - Mr Bumpy Cat.
Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I understand that in her dog-it-orial yesterday, Fanta may have suggested that I ought to have helped in the garden, because she and Percy had done so.

As you know, both my siblings are very young, the furball is a pretty pathetic excuse for a cat, and Fanta is just a dumb ... er. .. dog.

So for their benefit, and the benefit of anyone else is unclear as to the way things are, let me explain a few things.

  1.  I am the Supreme Feline Overlord.  No-one is to question my behaviour or motives, or to suggest I should dirty my paws with anything as offensive as "work".
  2. A garden is a place for humans to work.  It is a place for cats to nap in the sun, or occasionally stalk a bug or a leaf or twig, or to practise being a wild jungle cat.  It's a place for dogs to do whatever it is dogs, with their micro-minds, do in the garden.  It is not a place for animals to attempt to "help" humans.
  3. Humans exist to serve their feline superiors. They do not deserve our help, nor the noblesse oblige the furball thinks he should offer.  For them, it is a great honour to serve us, and attempting to assist them in their work degrades both them and us. (Oh, Mum, you may change the litter tray now.  No need to thank me. The honour is my gift to you.)
  4. Dogs exist for no known reason, but even they are higher in the social order than humans, and should not lower themselves to treat humans as equals.
  5. As for the dumb dog and the furball doing things together, and acting as if creatures from such different strata of society could even be friends, that is simply wrong.
I hope this has cleared up any confusion.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,

Mr Bumpy,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

1 comment:

  1. We hear you loud and clear, Bumpy ! Those are pretty good points. Purrs


Thanks for joining the conversation.

Your comment will be visible after moderation.